How to meet people?

[fredchabotnick]

Hi, everybody. I was wondering if I could get some opinions/advice.
So here's my situation, I was dumped about 2 months ago, and in the past several weeks have had 2 good friends move away (new jobs). This has made me realize that I really don't have many friends who live close, and I really don't have any good ideas on how to meet people, friends, women to date. Admittedly, I'm fairly shy, so a lot of this is my fault, but I was wondering what any of you do or have done? Or am I the only one who has had this problem :-)
Thanks!
(PS, I'm new here, and I just wanted to say that everything that I've seen and read has been great)

[Steph]

Welcome! You're off to a good start by coming here! :)

What about your workplace? Is there any way you could organize drinks after work?

[BlueSwede]

I'm afraid that I have no suggestions either since I find it very hard to meet people any other way than on line myself. However, I wanted to tell you welcome and that I love your AV!

[LixyChick]

Welcum to Pixies fredchabotnick! I love typing that nick...but I'll have it shortened in no time...lol!

We have a diversified group of people here at Pixies...and with time comes wisdom. Read around and get to know us and get some ideas. New threads pop up everyday and some may inspire you.

So glad you've jumped right in and posted. Shy or not, it's nice to meet you and I just know you'll love the site!

[denny]

Invite work acquaintances to parties in your home. Network and the circle will grow and you will find interesting people. You have to put it out there even if it is hard for you.

[jseal]

Fredchabotnick,

Welcome sir.

One way to meet people whose company you are likely to enjoy, and who are likely to enjoy your company, is to meet people who like to do what you like to do. Think about, and note the things you enjoy – backpacking, swimming, model building, gaming, etc. Do you like to paint, or read poetry? Are you interested in local history?

With such a list in hand, look in the telephone Yellow Pages, or hit Google, and find associations or societies in your area which focus on these subjects of your interest. Visit them when they meet. While it is unlikely that you’ll make friends with all of the people present, that’s not what you are there for. Your participation in activities with the others will predispose you to conversations with the members and will, over time, lead naturally to relationships.

Good luck, and again, welcome to Pixies.

[Oldfart]

fredchabotnik

Where do the people you'd like to mix with gather?

Are there other places you'd like to be?

Don't go in there gangbusters trying to be someone you're not.

Be almost a wallflower, very low key, and see what happens.

If you don't like it, go elsewhere till you are comfortable.

[Pita]

www.friendfinders is a place I have friends that have used. You can chat with people in your area.

[fredchabotnick]

Thanks everybody.
Steph and Denny, I've done that with work people, however, I work in a small company without too many people, and I've found that while most of them are decent people, I really haven't enjoyed spending that much time with them outside of work (one however, has become one of my best friends...and she's one of the two that moved).
Jseal and Oldfart, I think this is the way to go, the main thing, as you say, is to get out there and do something.
And everybody else, thanks for the welcomes, it's great to find a place with such a friendly group!

[Teddy Bear]

WELCOME TO PIXIES!!


Take a course at a local college. You'll benefit just by taking the course but you'll also meet people who like what you like.

Join a club (hiking, birdwatching, boating....etc) or a sports team (baseball, tennis, bowling, whatever....)

Take lessons in dance, ceremics, see whats offered near you.

Good luck. Have fun. :) :)

[GingerV]

Hey Fred (not nearly as patient as Lixy....I'm just gonna start abbreviating now if that's ok ;) ).

1) Welcome to Pixies!!

As far as meeting people.....I understand where you're coming from. I was shy, once upon a time....and then I started moving, a lot. Part of me is still shy, but I've figured out a couple of tricks for meeting people. Mostly though, it's just variants on what you've read here.

Do old things. Your old favorites. Just do them a lot more. The one thing you know is that (apart from us and other virutal folk)...the people you want to meet aint in your living room. So you gotta go where they are.

Do new things. All the stuff that you've never tried and always meant to? Here's your excuse. Yes, it's hard to get off your tail and go to that first meeting/class/climbing gym/whatever...but you were gonna be out there doing things for the sake of being out there doing things. May as well cross some stuff off your "things to do before I'm 40" list. Anything that gets you out there.

Smile at people. Make eyecontact. Don't chase them around the bookstore looking for an opportunity....but folks tend to respect quiet "I want to be on my own right now" signals. You need to try not to make them. Especially if you're shy....shy folks like us will give off loads of "warning...you're entering my personal space...back away slowly" signals that we don't mean to. So you've gotta look friendly.

Let people know you're new, and confused or puzzled, or just...well....new!! OK, so you're not new to the area....but that's why new activities/clubs are a good idea for you. Good folks like to help out the new folks (errr....I mean....look at this thread for starters). It's a kick ass filter for finding the people that make good friends in the long run.

I know none of it's easy. Meeting new people is tough. But the good news is you REALLY only need to meet one or two. Cause odds are, once you hook up with someone...they're going to introduce you to a whole new circle.

Anyway, welcome to Pixies again...and do let us know how the friend hunt goes for you. Among other obvious skills...we make damned fine cheer leaders around here.

G (wondering where she lost her pompoms this time)