Your opinions please

[craig410]

I found out my wife had an affair. During this affair she spent the night away from home 4 times. All with bad excuses. As things went along she did admit to me that she spent the night him those 4 nights in a motel. The 3rd time she came home the next day walking funny. Later that night we both went to bed, and she was defensive. I did touch her between her legs and she was so sore that I could not touch her with the slightest of touches.
After "admitting" everything to me, she tells me that she got sore because "he tried to enter her and couldnt, he tried for a long time and twice " I asked what a long time was and she said something like 3 hours, then after asking her again she said she didnt look at the clock.
I did ask her how big he was and she said he was small, q/2 the size of me. Fine, my question is how does a wqman get this sore.
She could not be touched at all with the lightest of touches. She tells me that this "small" man tried to enter her but couldnt. Yet she told me also, that there was no pain when I asked her why she didnt stop him.
Wht I dont understand is how woman can get this sore on her "outer lips" with a man pushing long time and twice without feeling any pain. Can a woman get sore like this for this reason. Or in your opinio Im I being lied to
Thank you for your time
Craig
nasd5trader@aol.com

[pje]

sounds to me like things are being left out

[Oldfart]

Sounds like something's not right.

talk to her again, be very careful what questions you ask and listen very carefully to how she answers.

After that, if she's evasive or you feel you're being held out on, confront her or bury your head and let it pass.

something which has irritated the external labia that much is no midget, plastic or flesh.

[Irish]

craig410---I'm not going to give my opinion because;"the hand-
writting,is on the wall."My opinion; is; that you just don't want to
face the facts.Don't forget that the strongest part of a good
relationship is being truthful with each other and being able to
talk things over.Also-remember that it takes two to tango! Irish

[Nubian]

Lies 1--4: the affair; lie 5, not being honest about the cause of her soreness. I just don't think you can put any credence to what she says. If you still love her and are willing to give it another go, then it's going to require some serious counseling. And a long time after before you can reestablish any trust.

[loveli1]

First I'd just like to say that I'm sorry you had to go through that whole situation. But as a woman I know the only time I get sore is when there's no lubrication. If you're not wet and you try to have sex you can rip the vaginal walls and that REALLY hurts. In no way am I defending your wife, but maybe she felt guilty and couldn't get aroused so that's why she was sore.

[Lovediva]

But as a woman I know the only time I get sore is when there's no lubrication.


The only time I get sore is after a good GOOD HARD POUNDING AFTER THREE HOURS :D


Just had to add my 2 cents!! ;) :D


I think his wife DID have an affair.....all the signs are/were there...sorry loveli :)

[Prophet Reality]

After three hours huh. Well, I guess I am out of the picture then. I'd like to got until we passed out.

[Ophelia]

Did I miss something? "He tried again and twice"? What the hell does that mean? Did he penetrate her or not?

Is there a posibility that she is avoiding the lie by not telling the whole truth here. It's possible that he didn't penetrate her with his penis. Just a thought.

Ooo OOOooo AND I've been really sore before when I've had too much foreplay in the way of bumping and grinding against denim. Know what I mean???

If I were you, I'd go get tested for any STD's. For your own sake, if no one elses.

Sorry you are going through this. Been down that road. If you need to talk, you can PM me.

Ophelia

[Irish]

Prophet reality---I'd just like to be able to go three hours.I hate to
admit it but I can't hold out that long if I'm with someone that
really turns me on!Come to think of it;thats;the only kind that I
would be with.I'm selective,not promiscuous! Irish

[Lovediva]

Originally posted by Prophet Reality
After three hours huh. Well, I guess I am out of the picture then. I'd like to got until we passed out.



Mmmmmmmmm...... Till we passed out eh????? ;) ;)

But that could also mean LESS THAN THREE HOURS!!!! ;) ;):D

[sad_sam]

I am with everyone else, I am sorry that you are having to go through this.

Something is not Kosher here, either she is not telling you the truth or she afraid to tell you the truth. Whatever the situation is you have to find a way to talk to her in a way that is agreeable to both of you if you want to try and work things out.

But that is something you will have to decide yourself I am afraid that is one thing we can't help you with.

I don't know about the three hours thing but like Diva I'll give it my best shot or exaust myself trying!!

[craig410]

Thank you for all of the replies.
To answer a couple of the posts here. She told me that "he tried for a long time and twice to f*** her and never could". And that he never did enter her. I asked how long and she said 3 hours. I said that is absurd, and she said a long time, I didnt look at the clock. I asked what they or he did in between the first time and the second and she says they did nothing. No touching, talking or foreplay. I asked her why he didnt stop when you told him it hurt....I assumed this would cause pain. She told me that she didnt feel any pain at all or pleasure. Just like someone pushing on her.
I doubt that she was feeling so guilty that she couldnt get aroused. Alcohol does away with that and she had been with him for about 20 months now.
Another question, does a woman really have to be aroused much if at all to have intercourse ? Or can she go through the motions.
Sure I am 99% sure she is lying, there is that 1% I could be wrong. That is why I am here, to learn.
What I really cant understand at all is this, I assume, if a woman is this dry then as soon as any man tried to enter her she would feel pain almost immediatly. Right or wrong ?
She would feel pain and tell him not now or to do something else etc.
The other thing I cant understand is, I cant imagine any man continually trying to enter a woman who is obviously this dry to where he cannot enter her at all, and to try this long and this hard and twice.
She was 32 and he 42 at this time. She did admit to having intercourse with him 5 times (she included this one), this would have been the 4th out of 5.
The degree of soreness is what really bothers me. In all the years with her, and observing her (looking back) while having this affair she was never ever this sore, not even close.
I do not know why she would be afraid to tell me the truth now. The only thing that could happen is me divorcing her. And that is certain if she continues to lie, though again could this be the truth. She could be very embarrassed to tell me and I do have some reason to believe that this was with someone entirely different than she has told me.
Thanks everyone for reading this
Craig

[hotgirl4u2nite]

Uh excuse me, but did you just bump your head or something? She's been with him for 20 months. Do you realize that is 4 months shy of two years? She's lying and you need to just cut your losses. I know it's a bitter pill to swallow.

As far as the lubrication thing goes neither man nor woman is going to lay there bumping dry flesh against dry flesh continually abrading sensitive tissue down there. I hope that I am not offending anyone or being too graphic. She probably told you what she thought you wanted to hear because she knew she was busted.

[RedNLaycee]

I agree with hotgirl here...there is alot more to this than she is telling you...
have you ever tried to have sex with no lube? that is like someone trying to pull your insides out thru your vagina!!
even if you do try and work things out...this has been going on too long for you to stay and subject yourself to this happening again.
once a cheater....shall I go on?

[craig410]

I have talked to her more about this and shown her these replies. She still says that is how she got sore. She has dropped the three hour thing though and now says, "it seemed like a long time" and "long enough to get that sore".
She still says he tried twice and never did enter her because she was that dry. She also maintains that she never felt any pain and never felt him trying to enter her. That all it felt like was someone pushing on her. She now says that she was drunk and that is why she felt nothing.
Possible I guess. I would guess that they were drinking beer for about 8 hours before this. Her and I have spent more time sitting around drinking beer before, so this I can see. Though when she came home later, maybe 6 hours after this, she did not act drunk at all or hungover. She says that she never passed out or fell asleep in the motel room either, so she would have been up at this time for about 19 hours.
What I cant see is a 42 year old man being this stupid to continually try to enter a woman twice and do nothing as in foreplay to make her wet. I would never be that stupid anyway.
I can't imagine just drinking beer would numb a woman down there like this, but not being a woman I do not know.
Would being drunk from beer change what and how she felt ?

Thanks

[Lovediva]

I think your wife is a big Liar...and you can show her this!!Grrrrrrrr!!!

When I drink..I get more wet and hornier...don't know any woman who don't Craig!!

Wake up and smell the Roses......She is playing you for a fool......

<<<<Better yet....only way to prove her innocence...is by a lie detector test.....do you have any friends on the force??????>>>>

[luv2please]

Craig,
The only thing more stupid than a forty two year old man trying to enter a woman for two hours when she is not arroused/wet is the 32 year old woman letting him do it. Now some questons to ponder... Does your wife plan to continue having this affair? Maybe a different one? Can you trust her again? Does her having sex (or trying to)with someone other than you hurt you? Do you love her? Does she love you? Think and think again about what the future could possibly be like if she continues this type of activity.Good Luck.

[PantyFanatic]

Originally posted by craig410
[B]I found out my wife had an affair... After "admitting" everything ... in your opinio Im I being lied to?

Thanks….The board has been hectic today…now hop down from that box of OldFart’s and give me a hand up. Have to be serious for a minute!

Craig, I’ve avoided getting into this thread because it’s not a joke, not sexy, not congenial in any way. It’s real and it’s real hard for you. Those of us in the family that know,…….know we don’t know. That gantlet looks just as shitty from both ends. The longer you’re around, the more hits you get. All we can do is share truths. It truly was easier being shot at than to be where you are.

No one, outside, knows all the tiny details that make up your life & situation. We do recognize the big ones.


Like EVERYTHING,……..It will pass!:(

Truly, BEST of LUCK;)

(…and us assholes will be around for ya.) :)

[PantyFanatic]

Lies 1--4: the affair; lie 5, not being honest

as a woman I know the only time I get sore is when there's no lubrication.

The only time I get sore is after a good GOOD HARD POUNDING AFTER THREE HOURS

Is there a posibility that she is avoiding the lie by not telling the whole truth here.

Something is not Kosher here, either she is not telling you the truth or she afraid to tell you the truth.

but did you just bump your head or something? She's been with him for 20 months. Do you realize that is 4 months shy of two years? She's lying and you need to just cut your losses. I know it's a bitter pill to swallow.

I agree with hotgirl here...there is alot more to this than she is telling you...

Wake up and smell the Roses......She is playing you for a fool......



...And there's a lot more...........

[hotgirl4u2nite]

Why do all the specifics matter? The big picture is what I'm having trouble with. Which is YOU are trying to rationalize why YOUR WIFE is lying about the DETAILS!!! The details don't matter. The fact that she is married and "laying up" in a motel with someone else is enough. To add insult to injury, she had sex with him and she's insulting your intelligence by telling you she didn't and that she didn't feel anything. A quadraplegic would have felt someone trying to force themselves into their bodies. Then she has the NERVE to bring her "used" body and lay it in YOUR bed and tell you "Don't touch it, I'm sore." Then you talk about her being with him several hours and drinking with him.

It seems you are looking for ways to justify or excuse what she did. You need to think about the consequences of her actions. Suppose this man had a sexually transmitted disease and that is why she was sore. You need to stop discussing this with her and take action. Kick her lying ass to the curb. The fact that she's STILL lying after you know the worst part shows she has no remorse. And since she sees that she can get away with that kinda thing this probably won't end with this man.

If she has all this FREE TIME on her hands why doesn't she get a job and do something productive. One last question ok two:
#1 Where are you when she's out "doing the do?"
#2 wher did you THINK she was as the hours rolled by?

Seems to me you can't see the forest for the trees.....

[Irish]

craig410---I'm starting to really feel bad at the way your gullablity
is being taken advantage of.Come to think of it-no one gets taken advantage of unless they allow someone to take advantage of them!Open you eyes!the truth sometimes hurts but
you must go on.Everyone has told you their feelings.I;personaly;
have been;eventually;dissapointed by people that I have put my
ass on the line for.Not to mention how it could effect my family!
I agree with Pantyfanatic but hotgirl4u2nite said about everything
that I can think of!Good Luck!!! Irish
P.S.Wake up and smell the coffee!

[ROCKHARD]

You already know in your heart that she is lying and you are either looking for an excuse to believe her and forgive her or you are needing affirmation in hearing what everyone else thinks before you boot her out the door. Shes keeping things from you and to have a healthy relationship you have to have total honesty. Good luck with making that decision.