Ladies ...Body image
 

I'm curious to find out your opinions on how many of you ladies
in your upbringing by your parents got your idea of what your body image should project to others good or bad.How much input did they have in how you felt about your body.

I'm struggling with some past issues and i thought maybe this would help.My experience was that as a teen 13 and up i wasn't overweight i was just very well developed for my years.Big boobs
in jr high 34c wasn't common.My parents always told me to cover up especially in the summer.Other things such as the attention i got from boys/men of i ran with the opposite of my parents wishes.I loved the attention...gee i'm rambling here but i'm wondering what you think.

Obviously for various reasons my body changed in the beginning
although i didn't know it at the time i put wait on to keep people away and to keep from getting hurt.My insecurities have been getting the best of me lately and i can't let that happen.90 lbs lighter than when i started 2-3 yrs ago i should be happy right?

Growing up, I was not overweight. Looking back, I guess I was pretty attractive altho I certainly didn't see it that way then. I was never a barbie beauty but I was of average body size. I was never a typical girl that liked wearing makeup (still don't) and that was something that my mom really hounded me about (still does). She has always told me that I wasn't born a natural beauty and that I should use the tools available to me.

Now... as an adult, I am much heavier than I was back then, and my mother is more outspoken about me being more active in trying to find a man. From time to time ( a few times a week) she will make a comment about my weight (No man wants to be with someone so heavy), my appearance (men like attractive women), etc. I try not to allow it to get to me, but even as an adult it is bothersome...

Thanx jenna :) I think no matter what size someone is if they don't have a good body image and like the way they look it dosen't matter.I just know for me most of critisism came from my dad and i sought aproval in men doing what i had to do to get.And at the time i guess it worked for me...i still try to do that at times.
Its funny my daughter is 19 5'2 and a sz 2, and she is so beatiful.Yet she's not happy with herself.

I'm no different, but I can say this .... when I was reading comments by jennaflower about things her mother said while in teenage years .... they are almost identical to what I read in an interview as said by Jennifer Aniston ..... she said that her mother always told her she was not a beauty and she would have to work at looking good for her entire life ...or something like that - it was a long time ago that I read the article, but those comments stuck, because they really struck home!

I was influenced more by my friends than by my Mum and Dad about my body image.

I had two friends who to me seemed 'normal' but looking back they were both built very petitely and compared with them I always felt fat (this is going back to when I was 6 or 7). The irony is that when I was a teenager I didn't feel at all attractive, and when I look back at photographs I realise that I was gorgeous!!!! The perfect sized body, silken skin and nothing to feel ugly about!

Now, I've put on a considerable amount of weight and age is taking it's toll and I'm annoyed that I didn't enjoy it while I could. I do resent my mother for not allowing me to wear the kind of clothes I wanted to back then because I've missed my opportunity now. I also resent the fact that she didn't tell me that I couldn't wear those clothes because I looked too good in them (i.e. too sexy for a girl my age) but that I looked bad in them. I feel a bit cheated in that respect.

She always did have a tendency to compare me unfavourably with my sister too. While I was 'pretty' my sister was 'stunning'. Thanks Mum!

Thanx jjjbo :)
Thanx A.K.'S

For alot of reasons this is really important to me so i really do thank you girls !!!

my mum was/is good about that,but ive ALWAYS hated my body, i hate everything about it and always got teased becuase i was heavy.
i totaly and utterly hate my body, i lookat myself and think how putrid i am, and wonder howanyone could loveme in that way

Chicky, Chicky, Chicky . . .

PLEASE don't be so hard on yourself! First off, when it comes to love, no-one's going to be looking at your body. Love is about who you are as a person and trust me, what you look like is totally irrelevant.

However, I understand that it's important to feel sexually attractive and the one thing I've learnt from Pixies is that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. There are as many different tastes in the world as there are body shapes etc and while some guys like skinny others do not. You want proof? Go look through the ladies pics.

And I'd also say that negativity really is a dangerous thing. If you think about yourself in a negative way, others will too and worse still, any kind of hate (even if it's directed at your own body) will make you an ugly person. Don't let it eat away at you. Fall in love with yourself and others will too, I promise. it's important to be someone who others enjoy being around, and that is achieved by being confident and having some faith in yourself. It allows you to give more freely to others and that's what life is all about.

Already from what I've seen of you around Pixies, I can see that you are a great person with lots to offer and I promise you that that makes you beautiful and sexy.

*getting off her soapbox* ok, sweetie? Now go and be gorgeous!!!! XXX

hey
 

don't mean to break up the all girl party here but what about us guys and our body image. I have a treible body image and today's world of Abercrombie models does not help. I think that females have it tough but guys don't have it so easy. I am a big guy. A little overweight, but a massive bone structure. even if I was as skiny as I could be I doubt that I could fit in a size 34 jeans. even as a kid I got teased all the time. I look at pictures from then and I realize that I was not heavy just big. but that has sacerd me to the point that I dont think that I will ever get over it. because of this I drink too much, eat too much, smole too much and just found out that I am depressed and am going to have to get on medication for that. Yeah my life sucks but then whose doesn't. All I want is a gilfriend to take care of and tkae care of me, but noone want to date an overwieght, slovenly alcholic.

your a sweety A K
i know i SHOULD love myself the way i am, but i just cant, i honestly hate my body, yes all of my life i was teased, and a lot of ppl use it as an excuse, BUT i am big boned,and i to, if i little fat on my body, would still not be skinny, so i dont expect to be.
i hate my breasts, i think they are ugly, they are horrible, and i also want a breast reduction, i have to much muscle which makes me look bulky, and no i dont work out to get it, it just happens, i have very wide shoulders, a bit to wide i think, i have a fat gut,and a massive arse and fat theighs big calfs, although ill admit its a lot of muscle, and the hair on my legs grows to fast lol, i could go on.
oh and i have horrendes posture from when i was younger, i would stare at the ground, instead of looking at ppl, ect.
i do think im a nice person, and personality wise, i get on great with ppl, but phisical apearances seems to me more important...well at least where i am lol

i know how you feel
 

when i was nine i started to develop breasts and i got teased by the kids at school. my parents just ignored it and pretended it wasn't happening. i was ten when the first guy tried to rape me and twelve when the second one did both were family friends and i managed to escape both times because i created a chance to run. it scared me though and it affected my body image. i've put on weight to discourage people i even cut my hair off but none of that worked it just made me unhappy. now i am who i want to be and i don't let jerks get in the way of that. you need to care about who you are and not who you can make happy.:fly:

Bilbowashere - Honey, baby, sweetie. You've come to the right place. I know it may seem like you have loads of problems, but you've just told everyone what the main one is, so it sounds like you also know what you've got to do about it. Kicking the habit will help you get rid of the weight and the slovenly life-style. If you get the help, I promise we Pixies will do everything we can to give you the support and friendship you need to help you get through. And personally, I think big guys are great. ;)

Chicky - PMed you sweetie.

Smokey188 - some men are pigs, aren't they? Although come to think of it, so are some women. Good for you for not letting the bastards get you down. I admire you. And that last comment is sooooo right. I learnt that the hard way too. ;)

my self image is some times a problem i was told i have
lost weight by a friend and i can not see it to me iam
still fat but i have been clothes shoping and now in waist
size 34 and t-shirt sizes small this has helped me see the
change in my body so iam getting there but am keeping
in minde that "thin=happy is a lie and to work on my self image
not just my body ;)

ladies, don't ask your mother about how you look or how to make the most of what you've got; she has natural reasons for not wanting you to look too ravishing. She doesn't want her little girl to get ravished....

Worse than that, don't ask your girl friends. Unless they are very wise (or perhaps lesbian), they will get it wrong and you'll end up looking like ---- your mother. When did you last give a girl friend a really honest opinion on a hair do?

Ask a close man friend - and listen to what he says.

Ladies are always discontented about their appearance; haven't you read super models complaining about this or that part of their figure? But the truth is that everyone has their attractive points, and everyone can improve what they've got by dressing right, make-up, hair care and MOST IMPORTANT smiling and feeling good.

Believe this devoted lover of ladies; it's true!

Always so wise, Ericthered . . .


:)