Old Sayings, Proverbs, metaphors
 

...twisted. Post your favorites. Example:

he who lives by the mixed metaphor shall put his boot on the other foot!

To be or more likely not to be isn't a question but a prediction.

A bird in the hand means less shit on your head

A journey of a thousand miles begins with you already worn out.

To be or not to be ... those are the only possibilities.

He who is able to undo this know shall have a lot of rope left over.

Live by the sword die by the pen

Necessity is the mother of two bathrooms in a house with kids

When life hands you lemons, throw rotten fruit at the stage.

Time heals all wounds ... except those too serious!

That which does not kill be had better be able to outrun a bullet.

A stitch in time .. will take a lot of thread if it's a big clock you want to stop.

May the bluebird of happiness crap all over you.

Laughter is the best medicine - and hear we've been told to wear masks.

We do but stand on the shoulders of giants: who have been turned into a puddle of goo by everyone standing on them.