Learn to orgasm instead of just ejac?
 

I can't believe that I've waited so long to look into this but I started to do some research.

It seems that there some guys out there who play with themselves too much, and learned to ejaculate without the pleasure of an orgasm. I've theorized that this applied to me for a few *years* now, but I thought - maybe its just me. I've only had a few real orgasms before, and if you don't know what you're missing out on then how do you know?

So ... does anyone know anything about this and/or have any advice?

A bit of background, that might just be interesting for its anecdotal nature. I first started jacking it when I was 11 and learned from "There's something About Mary" that a good way to relieve stress is the five-nuckle-shuffle (jack'n it).

Even worse, sometimes I'll just ejac without any control over it -its like sex sex, blow the load, yup lame!

I haven't heard of that before. I've heard that you can watch to much pornography making it hard to become aroused by anything but porn. Think it would be possible that if you abstained from any kind of sexual stimulation for awhile (say 3-6 months) you could reset yourself as it were?

Looking at what you have to say, TechnoGuy, I am left wondering how much interaction you have with partners.

Erotic encounters encompass an array of stimuli, touch, taste, smell, pheremones (maybe), sexual tension and perhaps even fear of being caught. If your quality time is with Mrs Palmer and her five daughters, ably assisted with a smattering of porn, then you're not getting the range of stimulation needed to trigger the intense orgasm.

Variety can be the staff of life.

If my quality time? Haha, yeah for 15 years now masturbating on average once a day... I've definitely spent considerably more time with Miss Michigan doing the Five Knuckle Shuffle than I have probably any single other activity. Ha!

I've had my share of encounters with others as well, I think of my friends - at the age of 26 - I'd beat any of them to 0 fingers if we were playing 'never have I ever'. Outdoor sex, nope - haven't done that. BSDM, nope. Had great sex, yeah! A lot of it.

Orgasms? 3 of them EVER (2003, 2009, 2010) out of however many times I've ejaculated over 15 years!

(Sidenote: Hmm... wasn't there a funny thread a few years back that someone put a load calculator online so you could figure out how much speed you've spilled into the world?)

So yeah. I know that I can have an orgasm, I do know that amazing, shivering feeling that's exactly how girl's in movies describe to each other what the "big o" feels like.

I want to know how to have that feeling more often! All the time even!

I wish someone had heard of this before though, not just providing advice based on their own personal philosophies of sex.

We're trying to advise you based on or experiences, not philosophies.

This is not judgement, just trying to get your problem straight in our heads.

Based on what you've said, it sounds like you need to talk to a professional.

Not a shrink, to a cross between a sex therapist and a neurologist.

Good luck.