Ass Invasion
 

Now that I have your total attention........

Today I finally took the plunge and got the old colonoscopy. I have to admit all my fears and trepidation for this procedure were totally unfounded.

The hardest (and most unpleasant part) of the procedure was the cleansing for the 18 hours leading up to the actual appointment. Whoever the hell concoted the cleansing solution you have to take (not once but twice) starting the night before needs to be stood against the wall and shot! That stuff tastes just like the conents of the colon it is intended to cleanse!!!!!

I've never had an upset stomach that lasted as long as the past 18 plus hours have been. The queasy feeling still lingers but that should go away once I can finally eat a decent meal.

The actual procedure went like a champ. As I was in the prep room the sound coming from the procedure room right next to me really got the blood pressure and anxiety level up. Some poor lady was lying there yelling at the top of her lungs about the pain. Needless to say the nurse moved me to a different location!

Once the IV was in and I was lying there, I went to my happy place and before I knew it - I was in the recovery room and they were telling me to fart! What a glorius feeling for a man being told by a woman to fart - that she wanted me to fart - and that it was socially acceptable to fart! In fact - they wouldn't let me leave until I did let go with a few good rips! After what I've been through since last night though - I was rather timid that I would suffer the squirts! The fart game was a dream come true for a guy I would suspect.

Anyhow - the end result was one small pollup located and removed and it is on it's way to the lab. The doc was super friendly - I guess you would have to be if all you did all day was stare at total stranger's butts - and most of them would never qualify to meet our standards here in Pixies I am sure!!!!

Bottom line to all is this - get the freakin checkup guys and gals. The worst part is the total loss of bowel control for about 18 hours but once you get past that - the procedure was totally painfree and I never even knew I was there. I should have done this 4-5 years ago for my total peace of mind.

My advice to all my Pixie family is do the right thing and get yourself ass invaded for medical reasons. You'll always have time for the other invasions for pleasure reasons!!!!!!!!!

I'm thankful I finally did it - and so is my family!!!!!!! :loveshowe

Ron

Good for you in getting it done! :thumbs:

YAY for Booty plundering!!!!!!

First, glad to hear all is ok...all I ever knew about colonoscopy was from a friend who had one many years back, & mostly what he remembered was that they gave him the joy juice, asked him to roll over...next thing he knew it was Thursday ;)

Hearing about the fart game does remind me of my own prostate "scope" about 5 years ago, except they went up my willie for this...when I woke up, the first thing they demanded of me was to get up & go pee, do not pass "Go" do not collect $200...

What they didn't tell me was that it would feel like pulling a strand of barbed wire out thru my penis...
:yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

:ROFL: Both Cobalt and I had the procedure a few months ago. His came out clean (no pun intended) but I have diverticulitis. Lots more fiber for me and because he doesn't want me farting alone, for Cobalt too.

I laughed throughout your narration because it is soooo true! Especially the fart part.. rofl! I didn't have an issue with the prep other than the taste of the stuff. I just camped out in the bathroom. Now we know where I got my brown eyes.. Cobalt swore that after the camp out, my eyes were blue... lol

Everyone.... this is sooooooo important to do! Just like poke & prods, boob smashes and the finger up the behind checking the prostrate - much of what we find uncomfortable and easy to avoid isn't really that terrible to experience and can be a life saving procedure.

Cobalt's dad passed away in September from colon cancer or the after effects of the chemo and radiation - however you want to look at it. The 24 hours of discomfort from the prep and anxiety about the procedure is minimal from what his dad suffered because he didn't go in to get checked again after his first visit.

Also - up your fiber intake. After doing a lot of research and reading, I found that the North American diet isn't conducive to a healthy colon.

Glad all is well!

I've had to have that procedure done a few times and the only tough part is the prep. You absolutely had best not be more than a couple of steps away from the toilet once that solution kicks in.

I believe it was the last one I had done when I was lying on my side and they were just starting to sedate me and the song "Macarthur Park" came on the radio they had in the procedure room. I remember starting to laugh and trying to say something to the nurse about leaving the cake out in the rain but I don't think I made it through my full thought before I zonked out. :cake:

The procedure was very helpful though as it enabled them to diagnose me with ulcerative colitis and now I'm on medication that has it under control.

As for the fart thing......... the first time I had a colonoscopy the recovery room was pretty much open where there were just privacy curtains between everybody who was in recovery and the place sounded like a farter's orchestra. The last two times I was at a different hospital and had a private room. Sort of felt like I was giving a one man show. :p

They've also looked down my throat and up my address. You are right about the prep being the most degrading part of the procedure. The first thing I recalled after recovery was sitting in a chair waiting to be picked up. The day after, I was told I had dressed myself and passed whatever requirements they had for my release. :shrug: Guess I missed the flatulation festival. Only after being reminded, did I vaguely remember waiting in the car for a BIG take-out breakfast that I supposedly demanded we stop for before being dropped off at home. I was a complete waste until the next morning.

Highly reminiscent of my behavior after having the wisdom tooth pulled. I was supposed to wait to be helped out to the car, but with the confidence of a drunk I carromed off the walls like a pinball; all I remember of the ride home was noticing that my wife was driving right by the store where the ice cream I *desparately needed* was being held hostage...

Ahhh, now those were some great meds... :loveshowe