*Come to Jesus*
 

I have someone at school who I have made friends with. She is young with mild learning disabilities but has become a total slack ass in regards to school. No effort.

My problem is that we are both on a team of 4 working on a semester long intensive project. The first due date for an assignment is coming up Thursday and all but her have done our part. At this point even if she did her part it would need a tremendous amount of editing and revision. Sooooooo we discussed this with our sexy professor and he says leave her name off the assignment if she has not contributed. So it was decided today by the group, she is SOL after not showing up for class at all.

Now my problem....I have to tell her tomorrow, and I have another big project due in 2 weeks that she is my partner for. Is it hard to have a "come to Jesus" with a friend and remain friends? She is super defensive and I am an anal control freak:dizzy:

Any advice on how you would handle telling her would be appreciated.

Fuck, I forgot...make that 2 other big projects with her.

The news shouldn't come as a suprise to her, and though it may be richly deserved, she probably won't take it well. Don't count on her to provide much assistance with the second project. You have nothing to hang your head about. She wrote the book, you're just the one reading it.

I know...easier said than done. Believe me! Perhaps you could nudge her while chatting at the top of some stairs? She takes a tumble and voila! Situation solved! ha ha

Two? Well, that changes everything!

Ok, maybe not. Tell her "You've missed deadlines and come up short of what you were assigned to provide for this project and we've been told to leave your name off. Can I count on you for the upcoming two? I'd like to work with you but I can't do the project on my own."

There are only 8 people in my major...we are 2 of those 8. No stairs:rolleyes:

Give me her number...I'll bitch her out for ya! Don't worry, I won't let her know I'm with you. I'm discrete and professional, when I'm dressed. ha ha

i totaly know what you mean by being so upset, i guess it's like anything else that's about school, you might just have to say wither work with me or fail without, pick you poison and i'll make sure that i'm not a part of it.
P.S. if she is that far along in college how in the hell did she ever make it this far with that attitude. i swear people who don't work realy tick me off.

Time for a beatin!!!

I love her but not enough to get a B:D

Then that's what you tell her.

I excel at attracting these people, alas. Don't worry about talking to her. I'm sure other people have had similar conversations with her. If she's willing to lose you as a friend over this, it's not a big loss, IMHO.

Well, putting on my mildly manipulative hat....I'd start with a coffee, and a "are you ok" conversation. Move into how you've "noticed" she's having trouble keeping up and want to "help" (note, that's help her get her thumb out, not help her pass the course). How you're sorry to tell her that there's nothing you can do about what's already happened, and that she's already off one project....and that you want to know what you can do to keep her from falling off more.

It lays the ground rules (she's off the first, she's in danger of falling off the second, you will not rescue her entirely), but it also provides an out (she's not dead yet, you're still her friend, you want to hear her, she can still fix some things), and doesn't imply that you're angry or pissed off.

Mind you, I wouldn't blame you if you were angry or pissed off....people like that drive me mental. I'm sure teachers intentionally teamed me up with them in school to ensure they passed. But if you come to her with that first...she's gonna get defensive and the whole situation will get worse quicker.

Basically, though, Steph's right. Is this someone you like abit, or is it a proper friend? Because sometimes, friends are required to give other friends a good swift kick. It's in the contract.

Good luck with it.

G

Thanks Steph and Ginger... I think that I knew all along she would need a buddy to make it through and I gently prodded her through last semester. But although I am almost old enough to be, I am not her mother and am not gonna coddle her for 2.5 years. When she decides to fuck off and not do an assignment that's her choice when she doesn't do a team assignment and I have to make up for her slack then she is making choices for me too and I'm not having any of that.

Thanks for the guidance and support!((hugs))

Lil,
I was in the same situation you were in this semester. The best advice i got was from my suitemate. He told me "No matter what happens in that class, you have to look out for number one." When is comes down to it, you'll intend to graduate with honors, and what she makes of her life/college experience is up to her, you can only do so much, and it seems as if you've done your part to help her.

KrazyKU~ Thanks...I needed to hear that! I'm just not typically a lookin out for number 1 kind of person. But I have worked too hard and sacrificed too much to just give up the grades to be nice.