Advice?
 

Hello, well I’m a 19 year old college boy in a big predicament. I can’t ask girls out for dates. I really just don’t know how to approach. How do I know girls are interested and what do I say? I’ve been told I have a boyish smile and I always get a smile back but I just don’t know where to go from there. I think maybe the bars would be a place to go to find girls but after high school me and my friend’s kind of parted ways, they went off to University and I went off to College. All the people in my courses are either too old or to busy with school to go to the bar so I have no one to go with. So basically any advice on where to look for a girl finding out if they’re single and what to say from there would be very much appreciated. Or just slap me up side the head and call me a shy dummy.

Guys and Gals please help

1. It's a numbers game. In a bar or other social setting, be the one guy who will say hi in a non-threatening way, and someone is bound to say hi back.

2. Grow a thick skin. Rejection means nothing, and is never for a good reason.

3. Show confidence. Before money, the car, etc., we all are attracted to someone who knows themself.

Litle brother bear, you remind me of me at that age. I think the easiest thing to do is just be yourself. Ask a lady to dance, be sure to compliment them and thank them for the dance and see if any further conversation develops and if not, move on to another. Practice makes perfect and the ease to make decent conversation will develop as you go. "Smooth" lines are for players. Just be Bear Bear and you'll be ahead of the game. Like Seriousfun said, confidence and ease with the situation will be the key to meeting some really interesting ladies.

Yep I'd agree with seriousfun. Nothing wrong with going to a bar by yourself - especially not if you're hoping to meet people!
Trust me, when you go to a bar with friends, you're much less likely to venture away from your 'comfort zone' - the pack. By yourself, you can go when you want, have a few drinks, smile and be friendly, and just be yourself.

A word of caution too - don't try too hard! Walking around with a pack of condoms in hand and telling everyone you're desperate to get laid is NOT going to work in your favour! Set out to enjoy your evening - go to have fun and meet people and make freinds. I'd even suggest keeping sex off the menu the first few times you do it. Just go to get used to saying hello, getting to know people etc.

Just relax, be yourself, be confident and don't be scared. You're young, there's no hurry - take your time and proceed at your own pace!

Good luck! Keep us informed!
CasperTG

With all of this said, I'll tell you that I never learned this when I was your age (I didn't need to, I was a guitar player).

It's a lot harder learning this when you are older. Make your mistakes now!

Thank you seriousfun I am a guitar player too,
Thanks BigBear57 for the vote of confidence,
Thanks CasperTG all really good advice.

Could I hear from the female perspective too?

Bear Bear, just be yourself. Start out by just talking and listening. Take an interest in the woman you fancy...get her to talk about herself and show real interest in what she is saying. Finding common ground is how you segue into wanting to see each other again. You'll gain confidence.

Good luck!

rabbit

Thanks rabbit

Just read this and you are miles in front of where I was at your age.

I agree with what has been said, if you go out expecting something then you will be disappointed, go out to have a good time and you will stand a much better chance.

Dont just babble on about small talk things but show some interest in her as a person. Good conversation soon draws out similar interests and it gets easier from there.

Thats what I have learnt but i had no clue in my younger days, at least you get the benefit of others experience.

Good luck mate, I am sure you will do fine.

All good and sound advice from our Pixie men! Heed their words hun!

As to the woman's perspective.....I'll give it a go. You're young and you have the world by the tail and all the good ahead of you......so don't rush in! A bar can be an ok place to meet new people.......but there are several other places to try as well. I can't tell if you live "at home" or are out on your own......but don't discount the local laundry facility. Lot's of girls your age are out and about, doing their shopping and laundry.....and asking about how the facility works can be a good icebreaker. Girls love to help the (seemingly) helpless. Then there is the local library.....or the library closest to the college. A look and a smile from across the top of a book can be a great icebreaker as well. And, I mentioned girls out shopping.......go to a mall or a grocery store. Spend some time people watching (girl watching) and ask questions as to the best way to choose a steak or if those sweaters you are both looking at weren't on sale a week ago. Take the cue from the girl you have your eye on..........does she look at you when she replies.....did she touch her hair or move a bit closer to help? All good indications of interest. And you'll know the indications of disinterest....especially if you get slapped.....lol.....jk hun! Just talk about the immediate common interest according to the scenario......and if she stays put for more than a few minutes.....she's interested! It's hard to say what attracts some and sends others running.........but only you can find out what that "certain something" is about you! Learn from your mistakes or you'll be doomed to repeat them! As said above.....don't take rejection too seriously (life is for learning).....but take note of what could have been the turn-off.....and modify your behavior so as not to put the next girl off in the same manner! Don't pretend to be something you aren't.....and don't go on and on about yourself with nary a space for her to get a word in egdewise! On the other hand.........do (eventually) talk of your qualities and try and find out common interests. Music is a great way to do this! Ask about her likes and dislikes! And from there....a conversation spawns!

Best of luck hun! You'll be fine........you'll see!

Thanks grumbleguts
Thanks LixyChick, I am still living at home but hope to get out on my own soon.



Thank you everyone for your responses
It's all great advice

I've still got my ears open though if anyone has more to say

First, remember this too, that where you meet people can say something about them.

If you are not into the bar scene, and you try to meet people at a bar, then likely, they are into the bar scene, and you may not have common interests.

If you are trying to meet someone, do the things you like. If you are into sports, go to sporting events, and say hi to the people there. Someone will respond, and then you have a conversation.

If you like to dance, go dancing. If you don't like to dance, don't try it hoping you will meet someone, because later on, they will want to go dancing, and you won't---problems. You will also likely not appear comfortable, and most people don't want to converse with strange uptight uncomfortable people.

If you like to read, go to a bookstore, etc. Do what you like, and talk with the people there. You will find common interests, and can go from there.

Second, talk with both sexes. If you are male, talk to both males and females. You may wind up dating someone you talk to, or, you may find that the other guy has a female friend, etc, and you can never have enough friends, male or female.

Third, if you see someone interesting, walk up and ask them,

" Hi, my name is _________. " Then lick your eyebrows. (j/k)

90 % of the time, they will respond. Don't put pressure on yourself, because it always translates, and you wind up going backward 2 steps for every step forward you take.


Good Luck,

Jim

Thanks Jim,
I'm still not sure which scenes i'm into because my heavy course work from school dosen't allow me much freedom, but I find that to be great advice.