The wife, myself, and another...MAN???
 

Hey there!

Some of you may remember me from the "situation" my wife got into a few weeks ago (drinking, flirting, me pissed off...lol).

Anyhow, in all our discussions since then, it's come up in conversation that I do sometimes fantasize about having a 3-some with her and one other guy (and of course my many FFM fantasies!!!). The 3-some basically involves her either sucking us off or giving us handjobs...no intercourse, and no gay/bi stuff.

I admit the fantasy DOES get me excited - especially the more I tell her about it.

At what point do you decide to try the fantasy for REAL? Once it happens - there is no going back. What we've done is gone to the adult toy store and bought a dildo (cock and balls) w/a suction cup on the bottom. We are planning on sticking it to the wall, and having her suck it and me, and stroke it and me. The idea sounds exciting enough to me, and it's harmless - no jealousy factor built in! :D

Just wondering how many of you couples (we've been married for 11+ years now) have done anything like this - but with a real person? What was the outcome?

Thanks for reading - I really enjoy this place! :hot:

justsomeguy if the jealousy factor is there at all it usally doesnt work out . If you are not thinking she is so hot while doing that, it will cause big problems. I watched a couple married for 15 years hardley ever fought they told each other about there fantasies for years then got a chance to go to a swingers party he got so jealous in the middle of it he got in a fight.(hit a guy in the face ruined the whole party) Sometimes fantasies are best left as fanasties.Or you may want to start out with another women as this is easyer for some guys to watch their wife with another women first then maybe later you can work your way up to a mmf.What ever you decide make sure evryone understands things going in and anyone can end it at any point

Just like you said yourself...once you do it, there's no turning back. I am the jealous type...I would think about it every time he would close his eyes...thinking he's thinking or imagining her. Believe me when I tell you that part of the excitement of a fantasy is that it's perfect and it's an image in your mind. Once you go thru with it...then what??? What's next?

I hope you can ease your mind before you make the step.

oooh, very tricky justsomeguy. IWM said it: there is no going back once its done. but you can always try to move forward if you find it was a mistake. you two sorted out your other problem well and it seems as if you are both open and honest with each other, so maybe you'd be able to work this one out too if it turns out it was a bad idea. i hope this helps and happy deciding and testing!

eh, i kinda disagree with starting out with a FFM and "working your way up" to a FMM. if he decides for whatever reason it's not working out, there's going to be a very potentially ugly jealousy factor on HER part. ie, he got his fantasy, but she didn't get hers, so she might feel that hers was less important, or that she stuck her neck out for him, but he didn't care enough to return the favor. or that he got to "cheat" but now she's not allowed to. i think that one may blow up in the faces of those involved and get ugly.
i've had experiences with my then husband and my then girlfriend, and jealousy wasn't an issue for me, because each of us took turns being the center of attention. one of the three of us would get to be in the middle being pleasured by the other two, and after they were satisfied, it was someone else's turn. but i loved them both, and was participating for the pleasure involved, not as a test to pick the "better" partner. always remember that your partner is with you because s/he WANTS to be. if you start having jealousy issues and freaking out that they're going to dump you for someone else or they're "using" you as a placeholder until they find someone better, it feels more like you're holding that person hostage or trying to "keep" them rather than having a relationship with them. if your relationship isn't stable, then i don't recommend it at all. open relationships just aren't right for some couples. my ex was ok with it in theory, but when we split up, he used my girlfriend as an excuse rather than face his own drug abuse/domestic violence issues. he would agree to counselling only if it involved talking about how my girlfriend had "ruined" our marriage because i loved her more, and i agreed not to bring up with the therapist his drug use or the fact that he got physically violent with me because he said that wasn't the "real" problem. i wouldn't change the fact that it happened. hell, it probably sped up my leaving an abusive relationship by a year or more. but him feeling threatened by her was what ultimately started the downhill spiral that ended when i threw him out. i doubt very much that your situation is anything like mine was, but the fact that *that* was what started (according to him) his drug abuse was something i certainly never expected.

What have you gotta lose? Nothing!

Oh, and welcome to Pixies!

My husband and I have brought another man into our bed. Everyone enjoyed it and allthough it isn't something I'd do all the time, I'm glad I tried it and am not against doing it again some day! :D However my husband isn't jealous at all. Everyone is different, and sometimes fantasies are more enjoyable to think about than doing.

I hear ya cyberkitten! Yeah their drugs is never the problem is it?:rolleyes:

You must each understand all the expectations that each other has in his/her heads. You have to layout everything so that you two can make an informed decision, which you can, both live with. I can see wyndhy's point but if the hurt is just too bad you may break what you have and will it be worth it? I can see cyberkittens comment being more a reality if you two are not on the same page going into it! In the mean time enjoy the fantasy!

Oh and no my wife and I have not yet crossed this in our lives but have discussed it often. She has said yes to the FFM, but I have not pursued because of what CK said, I will likely get jealous. But who knows I may be purrrrsuaded (ode to CK).

If you think you MAY be jealous, you probably WILL be jealous, so leave the fantasy as just fantasy. Otherwise, it won't be worth it. If you do decide to go through with it, make sure all of the ground rules are laid out and you are comfortable with each other's boundries, then stick to them.

Darogle is a smart one!!!

*gets all giggly and dorky*
thanks honey :) that made me smile!

It is a frequent fantasy, but like a lot of others have said, not sure the reality would be as great. Oh well, I can always dream. :D :D