Question????
 

As many of you,probably,know,MOST people think that I have a
wierd sense of humor!Even tho,it has been years,since I drank,
most of the people,that I ran with,told many jokes,that had to do
with drinking!I always appreciated,a quick comeback,& this has
stuck with me for years.I was curious,if anyone,remembered who
it was attributed to.It supposedly,was in a debate,but I don't
remember if it was political or not.
Debater #1:You're fat & ugly!
Debater #2:You're drunk!
Debater #1:Yes,but tomorrow,I'll be sober & you'll still be fat &
ugly!
For some reason,I thought that was great!It was not only humerous,but also made sense.My father always had a quick
comeback.Maybe thats why I always liked them.Does anyone
remember who this was about?Thanks! Irish

I'm not sure however i have heard something similar but it was when one person called another fat. Then the second person would say to the first, "Yes I am fat, however you're ugly and I can go on a diet!" .... I've actualy never heard your version but it is very funny!

I've heard it told both ways. I just thought it was a joke.

Never heard of it being said r/l in a debate, but I guess it could have been.

Irish - IRC. I believe it was attributed to Winston Churchill with a slightly different wording. He was in the habit of drinking a bottle of champaigne a night and one night a woman guest told him he weas drunk to which he gave the immortal reply "Madam I may be drunk, but you are ugly and I shall be sober in the morning"

I'd heard this before, but I never knew that Winston said that, Musketeer. Thanks. Learn something knew every day.

lol lmao
and here all this time i thought it was red skelton

musketeer---Thanks!I thought that it was Churchill myself,but over
the years,I wasn't sure! Irish

I don't think it was Winston Churchill...I'm thinking it sounds more like something W.C. Fields would say!

Just a thought!

Lixy---Sometime,take a joke.You have (approx) 10 people,in a room.Tell it to the first person,& tell them to pass it on.When the
10th person tells you,You probably,won't know that it's the same
joke.In telling,from one person,to the next,it will have changed that much! Irish

OK...I admit it was just a guess on my part. I looked up Churchill and here's what I got. Sorry musketeer...I just say what comes to mind and then I go find out for sure...lol!



Winston Churchill Quotes Pages: 1 2
(1874 - 1965) - British prime minister, author.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. -- (replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!')
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile--hoping it will eat him last.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

In my search...I had to look up W.C. Fields quotes too. Might as well share some of what I found. Pretty funny stuff, actually!


Here are the funniest W. C. Fields quotes spoken by one of the classic funny men of all time.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch...

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar

Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.

(When asked : "How do you like children?") "Fried!"

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

(In a restaurant to waitress): "I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here."

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.

...more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

My father...one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time.

Man: "I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time." WC: "A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy."

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

(Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:) "Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails."

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.

Charlie McCarthy: "Say, Mr. Fields, I read in the paper where you consumed two quarts of liquor a day. What would your father think about that?" WC: "He'd think I was a sissy."

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

"Fields reloading!" (Fields' retort from his dressing room after a director had shouted, "Camera reloading!")

Hangman: "Have you any last wish?" WC: "Yes, I'd like to see Paris before I die." (pause) "Philadelphia will do."

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon--and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible."

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

(Invited to play golf by someone he didn't like, Fields responded:) "When I want to play with a prick, I'll play with my own."

What rascal has been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?

"I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad."

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

Water rusts pipes. (His reasoning for not drinking water)

"Fish f*ck in it."(Another reason for not drinking water)

I knew that I got that fish one someplace!I used that to my,wife &
kids,many times! Irish:D

No worries Lixy I'm sure I'll be able to think of a way for you to make it upto me ;)

*curtsey*

TY kind s.......nooky ookems!

*giggle*

Speaking of W.C. Fields, the line did actually pop up in similar form in one of his movies:
Man: You're drunk!!!
WCF: ...& you're crazy...(distracted pause)...tomorrow I'll be sober, but you'll be crazy for the rest of your life....

I seem to recall that he was making a vain effort to play golf at the time of this exchange...