Shaving: a permanent change?
 

Hi again, everyone! I have another question to ask. While I prefer the "natural" look, with a full bush, lately I've been asking my wife to shave or wax her pubic hair for the sake of variety and experimentation. She is very hesitant to do it, mainly because she views it as a permanent change to her body, something akin to piercing or tattoos. She knows it will grow back, of course, but is convinced that it won't be the same afterwards. She said she shaved a little patch of hair on her arm once, and it grew back thicker and darker, so she doesn't want it to happen again. I think she's is also somewhat sentimental about her pubic hair, since it's about the only part of her body that hasn't changed since she was 12. Finally, she is very concerned about the growing-back phase being very uncomfortable, with itching, irritation, ingrown hairs, etc. Now I know that most women here have shaved at least at some point, so I was wondering if any of you have any advice. Did you have similar reservations before you shaved for the first time, and how did you overcome them?

My wife doen't like it and I don't push her to do it. She does keep it nicely trimmed. She doesn't have any trouble finding lovers this way.She has had to shave if a couple of times for health reasons and complained about it growing back. I think that is way she never did it again.

I'm sure it is different for every body. I don't have any problems with it growing back, but that may be due to the frequency of doing it too.

I don't have problems with it growing back either.. but like IMW said it's probably because of the frequency that I do it.
If your wife doesn't want to shave it all off, then why don't you suggest that she just trim it, or you could volunteer to shave first.. if you try it then she might be more open to the idea. Although, if you run around the house complaining about how bad it itches, etc. then she'll probably just be glad that you were the guinea pig.

Thanks for all the replies so far... As a rule, I would never ask my wife to do something I wouldn't do myself. I shaved my own pubic hair many times before. On one occasion my wife shaved it for me. There is a little bit of itching sometimes when it grows back, but nothing terribly uncomfortable. My wife thinks hers is different though, because it's thicker/tougher (I'm blond, she's a brunette). She has trimmed it before, though, but is hesitant to go "all the way" mainly because she thinks it will be permanent somehow.

I did it just out of the blue the first time.... don't really know what made me inspired. I've never had a desire to go back... I'm not completely neurotic about it... I typically only shave about once a week... I find that going longer in between allows me to have a better shave... but maybe I'm just lazy. Occassionally I will get itchy, but typically it's an ingrown, but never painful. If it helps her at all... I'm brunette as well.

I like to keep myself shaven, but for me, the regrowth is incredibly itchy and uncomfortable, so I can understand why your wife would be against the idea. I'm a brunette and my hair grows very quickly so typically about a day and a half after shaving I'm going mad with the irritation.

Recently I have taken to waxing, and it's a far better option....the regrowth is ten times slower, the hairs grow back much sparser and softer and the regrowth does not itch at all.

Yes it hurts when it's waxed but nothing unbearable and the pain of waxing is certainly easier to cope with than the pain of scratching yourself raw because of the itching after shaving.

Remember though, Agaethwe, sex is a two way thing, and you can't have it all your own way.....if she doesn't want to do it, then don't pressure her to. Wouldn't it be far more exciting to lay off the subject only to find that she comes around to the idea of it on her own and surprises you with it one day?

Here's a humerous video of people getting waxed.

Stay with it, there's a suprise at the end. ha ha

click here

So it does grow back differently after waxing? I admit, I’m a bit surprised, but it’s something that’s good to know.

A couple of people expressed some concerns that I’m pushing or pressuring my wife into this. With all due respect, I’ve been with this woman for 7 years, and I know her a lot better than the people here. Without a little push in the right direction, she would not do these things herself. I think she has a little bit of a Madonna complex, and usually doesn’t want to take the initiative on things she considers slutty. But afterwards she is always glad she did them. For example, it took me a long time to convince her to post at Pixie’s, but after she did it, she admitted it was fun. I’m trying to help her become a more adventurous and sexually liberated woman. This is not about “having it my own way.” She told me before she wants to move in that direction herself, but needs a little guidance, some convincing, and sometimes a little push to get there. I’m trying hard to improve our sex life, which is a lot better than doing nothing, like I have been in the past 7 years, thinking that things would improve on their own. All I was trying to do here is find out if her concerns about shaving were well-founded, or if they were more like hangups. I’m concerned about her comfort and well-being, and wanted to get all the facts. It sounds like she has some valid points, though, so I’m going to drop the issue and focus on other things for now.

I'm glad you feel that way agaethwe, but the point I was trying to make is that once she's aware of your preference, allow her to do her own research, ask her own questions and reach her own conclusions. Allowing her to be an independent woman = allowing her to be a truly liberated one.

And when I said you can't have it 'all your own way' I meant that you need to do some compromising and experimenting yourself. If there are things she likes that aren't your thing, you need to show that you too are willing to 'suffer' for the sake of improving your sex life. Make sure you're meeting her half way and pushing your own limits and boundaries, not just hers.

I disagree. Before, I would state my preferences and usually nothing would come out of it. She would not “do her own research, ask her own questions and reach her own conclusions.” She would simply go “whew, glad he stopped talking about it, now we can go back to normal sex” and forget about it. It took me a while to realize it, but simply stating a preference and then dropping the subject is not enough, at least for now. I need to find out why she is hesitant to do something, do my own research, and convince or even push her a little. I also suspect that she is a closet submissive and finds it easier and more enjoyable to do something (even something simple like spreading her legs) when she is told to do it, as opposed to doing it on her own initiative, which makes her feel slutty.



I completely agree about compromising. As I said in the other thread, she wants more intercourse, I want a kinkier sex life, and we can compromise on these grounds. If she’s more adventurous in bed, I’d enjoy intercourse more, and we’d both get what we want.



My boundaries are already way out there. There is pretty much nothing I wouldn’t do for my wife sexually, excepting deeply illegal stuff and anything resulting in permanent injuries.

My pubics have always grown back as soft as can be. :D

I think you right about her being a submissive. There are women that often do need that loving push to get past their own fears and realize how much fun some things can be. And you do know her best and what limits she has that you can and cannot push. Good luck. :)

As for the shaving. The more you do it the less it hurts growing in. Now, I will say that I shaved for a very long time and stopped doing it the last 6 months and have been surprised at how slowly it has come back in. So that fear of it growing in thicker might not happen. ;)

I'd beg to disagree, I'm afraid.

In the other thread that Alba started, she complained that the two of you do not have enough intercourse. I can't help but think that perhaps there are intimacy issues which make you shy away from this most natural, instinctive and satisfying form of phyiscal love. Pushing YOUR boundaries means being willing to have intercourse without it being kinky and without making Alba feel slutty, since it's this kind of contact she feels is lacking.

Personally I adore kinky, dirty sex, but that doesn't mean that I don't ever set the scene with candles, soft music and a bottle of something sparkling and chilled to enjoy a night of romantic love making.

Obviously I'm not in your bedroom with you, but from what you put on the other post, it seems you two have much more oral sex than you do intercourse because YOU think intercourse is boring. The compromise here isn't necessarily to have 'kinkier' intercourse but for you to learn to appreciate the more subtle and emotionally intense pleasures of making love.

Most couples tend to start out in the early days with this plain and simple expression of love and then move on to the more 'mature' delights of oral sex, role playing, erotica etc but from Alba's post it seems that you pushed along and almost surpassed that first phase altogether. Perhaps she feels that she's missed out on something and perhaps if you were more willing to push at your boundaries, by giving her the kind of intercourse she craves, she'd also be more willing to experiment with the things that interest you.

Sex is about giving freely to another person, but it's not just about giving what you want to give.

Sounds like you have a sexual wish list as long as your arm, and she's trying her best to meet at least some of those wants and desires (such as the oral sex, which she doesn't particularly enjoy), while she only appears to have one thing on her wish list and you begrudge giving her that unless it can be on your terms so that you find it more enjoyable.

Alba hun, I hope I haven't overstepped the mark, please please please correct me if you disagree...I don't want to be taking your voice away from you.

Loulabelle,

I have to admit you’re hitting pretty close to home. You definitely get a lot of points for being perceptive. That said, what I really don’t need right now is a guilt trip about how I “begrudge her the one thing on her wish list.” I feel guilty enough as it is, thank you very much. We have sex maybe once a month, in large part because of these feelings of guilt. Don’t you think that I would do anything to satisfy the woman I love in bed in every way possible? Unfortunately, in addition to the issues with intercourse I outlined in the previous thread, I have a problem about with mixing romance and sex. It’s not that I’m not a loving, romantic person, but sex and love/romance are two very different things to me. Candles and soft music I can tolerate, but the stuff with looking deeply into her eyes, whispering sweet nothings, and telling her how much I love her as I fuck her pussy… argh, that just feels so WRONG to me. Call it an intimacy issue, if you will, but different people have different definitions of intimacy. To me, being intimate is about being completely open and uninhibited with someone, not professions of eternal love in the middle of sex. I like sex playful, fun, kinky, and varied: making it into a serious expression of love is a turn-off. Intercourse is not very sexually exciting for me as it is, and intercourse with romance thrown in is doubly so. I can’t stay hard unless I concentrate on some really kinky fantasy in my head, which I don’t like doing because it’s dishonest. Unfortunately, I can’t change who I am sexually, despite trying very hard. Believe me, I’ve tried. So the choice is whether to accept that we’re fundamentally incompatible sexually and hardly ever have sex, or do something about it. I finally decided to do something about it, with my wife’s encouragement. She recently confessed that she enjoyed some of the kinkier things I had her do in the early stages of our relationship, and wants to do more of them, but I have to take initiative. I wouldn’t have started this otherwise. Who knows, maybe learning to enjoy intercourse through kinkier sex will help me appreciate the romantic lovemaking too? I know it’s ass-backwards, but it’s a place to start. And while I do appreciate your input and advice, some of the stuff you write makes me feel selfish, guity, and want to give up.