03-17-2007, 03:42 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: midwest
Posts: 637
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Here's what Dan Savage, my favorite sex advice columnist has to say about it.
Quote:
"But here's a pro that's rarely acknowledged: Sometimes cheating can save a long-term relationship. Sometimes only cheating makes it possible for a sexually rejected partner to stay in a relationship that's worth preserving for other good, valid reasons—like kids, for instance. And sometimes only cheating makes it possible for a person whose partner has a chronic, debilitating illness to stay put and stay sane. In these cases, cheating isn't just the right thing to do; it's the only decent and honorable thing to do.
Some fuckwits, of course, piously insist that Cheating Is Always Wrong. To the CIAW crowd, I say this: Fuck you, you self-righteous Pollyanna fucktards. I'm sick of CIAW types insisting with one breath that sex and sexual exclusivity are hugely important. Even the contemplation of an affair, to say nothing of its consummation, represents an unforgivable betrayal. And then in the very next breath, CIAWers insist that sex is so unimportant, so colossally trivial, that a person should be able to go without—forever!—if their mate is unwilling or incapable.
You can't have it both ways, CIAWers. If sex is hugely important then people can't be faulted for wanting some; if it's unimportant then it shouldn't be seen as a huge betrayal when some poor fuckers, under duress, get their needs met elsewhere.
That said, SOTS, I'm not gonna give you a pass. You're not done with sex, he's not dying, you don't have kids—cheating under your particular circumstances can't be justified. Regardless of what happens with your co-worker, you need to end this relationship. You're not attracted to your boyfriend emotionally or physically, and you don't have the kind of entanglements—biological or durational—to rationalize a fuck buddy. Do the right thing, SOTS, and break up with this guy."
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