I'm hearing ya Lou.

Just because someone doesn't feel like having sex, doesn't mean their partner has the green light to stray. Real reasons for not being able to make love must precipitate discussions and reasonable accomodations.

But sex is a barometer for other things. When one partner is withholding sex from the other, it's because there's a reason. Fix that, and the sex will return.

If the partner is not willing to attempt a fix...then the relationship should be questioned.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.