This is a very interesting question.

I think it really depends on the people in the relationship. Seems like a corny overused phrase but it really does. Lilith for example is a very open person but knows where the lines are that her husband has laid down (if there are any at all). If she was with a very controlling person, a jeaous person, or a person who had less self-esteem; then it would be a bad thing for the relationship.

Basically I think in a relationship where two people are open and secure in that relationship and where they can be honest and open about their feelings and emotions and if lines are drawn so that the principle relationship (that between the original couple) is maintained and perserved then I think that having someone as an outlet is a good thing.

I will give a real life example here.

I was once in a relationship where after a period of two years where stabiity had been formed, we both were able to share completely with one another. We both were somewhat flirtaceous and that was seen by others. But we worked very hard at making sure that each of us knew that we held each other first. There were times that my sex drive was more than what she could deal with. So she had no problem with me flirting with others etc online. And she had a few "boy toys" that she did the same with. Because we were open about it. It really didn't cause a problem. The relationship sadly did end after 3 years but it was based on something entirely different.

I have a friend who has been in an open marriage for about 35 years now. I love her and her husband to death and have known her and him for about 7 years now. They are open as well. They make sure they take care of their relationship first, and then allow the other. But there are ground rules and things to be careful of.

When you start sharing alot of your emotions it doesn't take a brilliant person to realize you are dangerously close to falling for them as well. If you are not someone that can balance that with your first relationship then it is probably a bad idea to explore the possibilities of extra emotional "outlets".Or if you love who you are with a great deal and they can't deal with you sharing with someone else then it is probably a bad idea. Then again you have to ask how important it is to you that you have this outlet.

Emotions also quite easily builds sensual tension as well. Something you may think is a vanilla non sexual relationship may build to something more. You may want to think about whether you are ready for that to occur.

Basically I think all three people involved have to be mature and conscientious of the other two people involved in the triangle or it could be bad. That is just my opinion however. I would certainly not judge anyone nor their opinions.

/bow

Zeph