I really, really hope this is true. I lifted this from Snopes.com's Daily Snopes.


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FORT MYERS, Fla. - Gladys Malarkey is back from the dead - just in time to celebrate her 105th birthday.

The centenarian, who also goes by Toots, was declared dead by Social Security earlier this month.

"They thought I was dead," Toots said, slapping her knee at such nonsense.

Her granddaughter, Bev Ridge, 64, of Lehigh Acres, Fla., explained that several weeks ago she received notice that Toots' bank account was overdrawn.

"My first thought, was Oh no, it's probably fraud,' " Ridge said.

But then she learned Social Security didn't send Malarkey's monthly check. The agency somehow determined Malarkey was no longer living and canceled her $1,100 payments, which cover her expenses at her assisted-living residence.

"When I first called about it, they wouldn't talk to me because I wasn't a payee," Ridge said. "I'm pretty sure they thought I was trying to steal her checks or something."

A payee is a representative appointed to receive benefits for someone who is unable to direct his or her money.

Ridge said a Social Security employee went to the home of Ridge's deceased mother, who shared Malarkey's last name, and was told by neighbors that the woman had been dead for years - not realizing they were talking about a different person.

Ridge offered to bring her grandmother to the Fort Myers Social Security office as proof. Instead, Social Security sent a representative to her.

Patti Patterson, spokeswoman for the Social Security office in Atlanta, said such mistakes are rare. She said the agency receives death notices from family members, hospitals and funeral homes, and they're usually verified with a death certificate.

"As soon as we become aware of a situation where our records are incorrect, we immediately take action," Patterson said. "I know this was really upsetting to the family, and we're working with them to take care of any concerns."

Malarkey, for her part, seems to have few concerns. Despite failing eyesight and hearing, she spends her days joking with friends, taking shopping excursions and listening to "little records," as she calls CDs. She hums to her favorite song, "Somewhere My Love," surrounded by her great-great-grandchildren's drawings - mostly sea horses, which she loves because "they're so rare."

When she was born in a small coal-mining town in southwestern Pennsylvania, the American flag had just 45 stars, only 8 percent of homes had a phone and the average life expectancy was 47 - which Toots has surpassed by 58 years.

On her birthday Tuesday, she looked forward to savoring chocolate cake, listening to live piano music, donning a new gown, dancing the two-step and being surrounded by friends. It's all part of her secret to longevity:

"Live with love in your heart and a smile on your face."

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating