Langley,

Sorry to be late into this. What you are saying here is that you want to change the attitude of a lady to suit what you want. The idea of choosing someone as a partner whom you can change to suit you is just a little bit Svengali.

After your ex-wife left the scene, apparently in part over this issue, you had the opportunity to find someone whose ideas more closely met yours, but instead you chose another repressed lady.

It is fair enough to float the flag and see which way the wind blows, but to try and "beat her down" into submission is not OK.

Try buying her a complete outfit, tasteful, but with an edge. Lingerie and shoes to go with them. Book a good restaurant, a little wine with the dinner (tell her that it's OK with food, or that the food needs the wine to complete the taste), dance a bit and take her home.

Then remember that no means no if she baulks.

Be fair and honest, and deal with the consequences.

Hereby endeth the soapbox.

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