I'm guessing you just don't think it's all it's cracked up to be. I'm kind of the same way. Sex just isn't that important to me. As for the awkward, what isn't the first time? Walking, running, riding a bike....all the same. You just need practice. If you don't mind my asking why is hard for you to find someone (feel free to pm if you prefer)?

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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf