Howdy Ms. BrightEyes-

It is so hard to judge what is the right thing to do when you find yourself falling for someone online and by phone.

I fell for a lady 1000 miles from my home that I met through an online forum and she said it was mutual. Long story fairly short- she hid a lot of negative stuff about herself from me that came out during the few months after I paid for her to move here. I ended up spending a lot more than I could really afford travelling, moving her here, (then back!,) and mostly supporting her financially for that time period. I even found out that while we
were supposed to be preparing to get married, she slept a couple of times with a previous boy friend, and several times here in my home town with a guy I knew that I introduced to her! In spite of the bad ending, even though I could sure use that money,
I don't really regret this "expensive experience," I had enough enjoyment and learned enough I can be content. It would not have been acceptable to me if either one of us had broken up a marriage by our brief connection.

Even if the person on the other end of the phone and Web from you doesn't directly lie to you, just not knowing all the truth can be pretty hazardous.

I completely agree with "rodeoman" that you can better decide your best move when you determine if the guy really wants to get out of his marriage, even if you two don't get together. Frankly, I'm sure you know you can't trust most guys saying they will get a divorce to be with a new lover. If you don't want to be any part of breaking up a marriage, he'd better file those papers before you let him pull you into it further.

Cyber relationships can turn in to lifetime loves. I know a few successful couples, and, frankly, I'm back on the singles forums looking again. I haven't flipped for anyone recently, but I've had some nice dates with ladies a LOT LESS than 1000 miles away! VBG ( I must admit, one lady I'm starting to really like is about 400 miles away! Even in Texas, that's a pretty long drive for a date!)

Geez, it's been years since I was involved in doing counselling, but I keep getting carried away when I reply to folks with problems that I've had dealings with. Sorry this is so long.

Please keep your "eyes wide open," and take good care of yourself. RW- MrCuriousUSA