i didn't read all the posts -- so hopefully i'm not repeating. but couldn't pass the chance to offer some serious advice. (as someone who recently divorced after 17 years of marriage) i don't presume to speak for all women, but i'll tell you what friends of mine have told me...

women love sex. every bit as much as men do. we would love to feel desired, and sexy. but helping us feel that way has less to do with what you do IN the bedroom, and more to do with what you do OUTSIDE the bedroom. do you leave your socks laying on the floor? never pick up after yourself? never help her with the kids? all of that turns into additional work for her. Easing her workload ... trust me, i know it doesn't sound like the right answer but it is.. will help. it's hard to feel sexy when you're exhausted and resentful.

i'm talking about a change in attitude, not an instant fix. hell, might start this way: hire a maid for a day, take her out somewhere nice for dinner, have an adult (interesting, not sexual) conversation....trust me, it will lead to something further.

if that doesn't help, might also consider a trip to the doctor...hormones have a way of messing with your head.

good luck hun.