Please draw us a picture! I can't figure out where you are talking about but I'd like to find it!

Orgasms are a tough subject since we women are all built differently. Do you mean that she has never had an orgasm or that you haven't made her orgasm? Can she have an orgasm during masturbation?

Sometimes when I'm with a new lover I find it hard to relax enough to have an orgasm. I'm kind of tense at first. You've been together a while but some people are brought up with the whole sex is dirty, evil and a sin thing from when they are kids. Is she comfortable with her sexuality? (I don't want to sound like a shrink or anything but I'm wondering if she's feeling tense)

I am no expert, though I was a nurse, but first if she can have an orgasm through masturbation I'd sit down and watch her do it (if she's comfortable). Watch her technique and where she's touching herself and spending the most time on. I have a very small area on my clit that is very sensitive and when I masturbate that one spot has to be massaged continuously to get me to orgasm. If a guy is trying to get me to orgasm, he has to hit the same spot.

And build up some stamina. If a guy is using a certain technique on me and I'm building up to an orgasm if he suddenly changes to another technique I sort of fall off my orgasm (it's kinda hard to describe but climbing to the peak of a mountain sounds about right). Like if a guy is stroking me with his tongue and working me up to an orgasm and then suddenly starts sucking my clit, it sets back my orgasm (wierd I know, maybe I'm the only woman who experiences that). It all feels great, but when I'm heading into home plate there is no time to stop and dust your shoes on the way.

I haven't had an orgasm through intercourse yet, but I am willing to take all the time and effort to see if I can , but I think it has to do with the g-spot and making sure your hitting it during intercourse. I have to say only one guy found the g-spot on me and it was such an incredible feeling that it didn't matter if I had an orgasm! Course he was using his finger, he just put his middle finger in as far as he could and bent it towards my tummy (oh dear god where is that man now?). I am definitely training my next lover to find that spot!

There is another post down further where I asked about orgasms and one regarding female ejaculation. Try looking those two up for some more information on the elusive female orgasm (shhhh, be vewy, vewwyy quiet, we're hunting the big O!).

Good luck and hope some of the other more experienced posters have some more advice for you, cuz I want to hear it too!

Sweet Chastity