"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
-Groucho Marx

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant."
-Henry Miller

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"
-Bette Midler

"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."
-George Carlin