Hocque...what's important is that she's with you now. If you tell her that though you don't hold it against her, hearing about some of the more personal details does bother you, she should understand and tone it down.

My wife loves her silver bullet. We don't use it all the time, but if we did...I might have the same thoughts running through my head. You're normal. On the one hand, you want her to have fantastic sex and screaching orgasms...and the bullet helps to enhance the experience. On the other hand, you'd like to have "regular" sex once in awhile too. Another example of good communication. Your comparison of it to a guy wanting to watch porn every time he's having sex is a great one. Ask her to skip the bullet once in awhile...just for you. I mean, if you two are getting married there will be plenty of time for bullet sex in the future, right? It's not like she'd be wasting limited resources. ha ha

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.