i HAD ATTEMPTED LEAVING 6 TIMES, AND EACH TIME I WANTED TO TELL HIM WHY AND THE BS HE WAS GIVING ME. I NEEDED CLOSEOUR, SO I THOUGHT. EACH TIME I GOT TALKED INTO STAYING. EACH TIME WHEN I DID STAY I STILL HAD THE FLIGHT AND FEAR THING INSIDE ME TO GET AWAY FROM HIM. I HAD TALKED TO EVERY ONE IN SIGHT FROM HOT-LINES TO COUNSELORS AND ALL SAID IT WAS THE "HONEYMOON" STAGE AND WOULDN'T LAST LONG. I LEFT THIS LAST TIME FOR 3 DAYS AND WENT THRU HELL, I WANTED HIM TO CALL AND I WANTED HIM DEAD, I WANTED TO HEAR HIS VOICE ONE MORE TIME, I WANTED HIM TO GO TO COUNSELING, TO GET HELP. ANYWAY I WOUND UP GOING HOME BUT STILL HAD THE RENTAL TRUCK, AND DID NOT BRING MY THINGS BACK. WE WERE GOING TO TALK, HE HAD GOTTEN RID OF EVERYTHING THAT WAS ME IN THE HOUSE....THREW IT OUT, GAVE MY HORSES AWAY...CLEANED-UP AFTER3 DAYS. I ASKED HIM HOW HE FELT THAT HIS WIFE OF 12 YRS HAD TO COME INTO THE HOUSE HOLD A CAN OF MAZE IN CASE HE GOT SMART. HE REFUSED TO GO TO COUNSELING, BUT HAS NOT DONE ONE THING TO HURT ME. SO I GUESS WHAT I'M SAYING IS I "SETTLED", AND AM NOT SURE IF THAT IS WHAT I WANTED OR NOT. I DON'T FEEL WHOLE THOUGH......

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What do you mean at MY AGE?