Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post - The wife, myself, and another...MAN???

Quote:

Originally posted by cyberkitten
eh, i kinda disagree with starting out with a FFM and "working your way up" to a FMM. if he decides for whatever reason it's not working out, there's going to be a very potentially ugly jealousy factor on HER part. ie, he got his fantasy, but she didn't get hers, so she might feel that hers was less important, or that she stuck her neck out for him, but he didn't care enough to return the favor. or that he got to "cheat" but now she's not allowed to. i think that one may blow up in the faces of those involved and get ugly.
i've had experiences with my then husband and my then girlfriend, and jealousy wasn't an issue for me, because each of us took turns being the center of attention. one of the three of us would get to be in the middle being pleasured by the other two, and after they were satisfied, it was someone else's turn. but i loved them both, and was participating for the pleasure involved, not as a test to pick the "better" partner. always remember that your partner is with you because s/he WANTS to be. if you start having jealousy issues and freaking out that they're going to dump you for someone else or they're "using" you as a placeholder until they find someone better, it feels more like you're holding that person hostage or trying to "keep" them rather than having a relationship with them. if your relationship isn't stable, then i don't recommend it at all. open relationships just aren't right for some couples. my ex was ok with it in theory, but when we split up, he used my girlfriend as an excuse rather than face his own drug abuse/domestic violence issues. he would agree to counselling only if it involved talking about how my girlfriend had "ruined" our marriage because i loved her more, and i agreed not to bring up with the therapist his drug use or the fact that he got physically violent with me because he said that wasn't the "real" problem. i wouldn't change the fact that it happened. hell, it probably sped up my leaving an abusive relationship by a year or more. but him feeling threatened by her was what ultimately started the downhill spiral that ended when i threw him out. i doubt very much that your situation is anything like mine was, but the fact that *that* was what started (according to him) his drug abuse was something i certainly never expected.

I hear ya cyberkitten! Yeah their drugs is never the problem is it?