You did it exactly right, axe. Absolutely perfect. We can't say that no man will ever hit us, potential abusers don't come with signs on their foreheads, but we can say that no man will do it twice.

I'm sure he regrets his action, and wanting to take away his pain by taking responsibility is totally normal. It's almost unavoidable if you have any degree of abuse in your personal history. It's bad training in one sense, but it's a survival trick in another way. Taking responsibility may have helped defuse the immediate situation. I don't know, and it doesn't matter.

What does matter is that you recongized it. You saw the pattern developing, and you took the steps you had to do. It sounds like you did it in cold blood, after everything calmed down a little. That's best, but sometimes hardest. Don't kick yourself for getting involved with him, don't kick yourself for not trying to throw him out immediately. Instead, give yourself a big damned hug for loving yourself to do this, and then give yourself another one from me. I'm sorry you had to do it, but oh so glad you had the strength.

G