i think those things could work. they can literally show her she isn't 'doing it wrong'. or maybe you could look at a kama sutra book together, it's not clinical, not a porno either, but it turns me on. or read a story. in real life i sometimes feel shy about discussing the intricacies of sex, so i think i know how you both feel. and it can take me a little while to fell comfy enough to get turned on buying/looking at toys, or to say 'i want you to...(whatever)' while we're having sex. now i only blush a little bit when i tell him where to put his tongue . used to be i could only squeak and nod. i guess what i'm trying to say is, keep at it and it'll get easier.