Hon....no breakup is ever easy, but a breakup with a someone you couldn't be publicly involved with is much much worse because your usual support structure either didn't know there was a relationship...or is out there just dying to say "I told you so." I totally understand why you'd want the reassurance, and we're here for that.

I didn't read much of your letter, frankly I couldn't...it seems like something terribly private, and really none of my business. But I can tell from what little I did read that you're hurting, that you're frustrated, and that there's a hole left behind by the man who disappeared. I think what you're looking for is to fill that hole. You want him to respond in the worst damned way, and he's not going to....so you're almost asking us to do it for him. It's totally common, I've seen it from almost every friend who broke up with a non-communicative jackass. You want us to tell you that you aren't to be blamed, that you didn't deserve or cause this pain, that you're a good person and he's eating his heart out for letting you walk away. We can't give you that. Not really, nothing any third party can say is going to make up for the fact that he's not going to give you what you want. We can't read it with his eyes, we can't tell you what he sees.

I can tell you that I'm so sorry you're in pain now, but that it WILL pass. I'm 100% certain that you deserve someone who's there for you, who makes you feel like the center of the universe, and you'll find them if you open yourself to it. And I think you have to rally your friends around you (both off line and us on-line folks) to help you laugh and cry your way through this...focusing on the future, not on the past...not on him...and not on how this letter may have been received by him.

(((((((((((((((Mellisaaa)))))))))))))))) Hope you get what you need from this.

G