In many ways have I known the same pain. So some words to give you hope and empower you faeryflower.....

The Willow knows what the storm does not; that power to endure harm out lives the power to inflict it.

And another wise words not overly quoted by me,

Tis when a heart beats in a fever one seems to feel alive, yet when one is broken all seems lost. Yet does your heart still not beat? For this means you are alive without the burdens of pain or sorrow. Tarry not long on despair for you are destined for greater.