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Old 12-24-2017, 06:09 AM
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dicksbro dicksbro is offline
Just me.
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
Christmas One Liners

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.

What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper!

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soot's him

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
Because the present's beneath them.

What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet?
It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!

Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws!

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

What does one ho plus two ho make?
Answer, a jolly Santa

Who doesn't eat on Christmas?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.

Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
To keep her off the North Pole
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