Dunno about everyone else....but I wish you the very best of luck and I hope this works out the way you want it to.

But (you knew that was coming didn't you? Damn I hate being predictable) I'm helping a friend extract herself from a 2 year relatioinship at the moment, so I'm in a real "go slow, be cautious" state of mind. While I hope down to my toes that this works for you, and I think there's every chance it will....I'd advise you be careful and not let yourself get too sure it will, just to protect your heart a little...cause I don't think you're necessarily at the finish line yet. And if you didn't like that, or are mad at me for saying it...stop reading.

Why? Cause I've got 4 brothers, and I've watched three of them do this to girls. And wanted to beat them bloody each and every time. Maybe it's just my family (and, ironically, the guy my fried is breaking up with) but sometimes they do this. "I'm not sure I want to be with you," and pulling away for weeks or months...then all of a sudden, for no reason the girl in question understands, they "made a horrible mistake," "miss you terribly," and "want you back." For a few weeks, maybe a month or so. What my brothers were doing when they pulled this stunt was just being bloody indecisive, and not being careful about how it impacted the people they were jerking around. They weren't happy, or were terrified of commitment. They didn't know what to do about it, so they'd break up with the girl. Since the fear was mostly in their heads, she never saw it coming. Then they missed her, got lonely, or (in the one case where I got REALLY angry) got bored when nothing better came along right away. They went back to what they knew was comfortable. The girls never knew what was wrong in the first place, so didn't know it hadn't been fixed permanently. They were thrilled that my brother(s) had gotten over their flit...and assumed everything was fine. It never took more than a month and a half for the boys to get back to whatever fear or frustration they'd used as their reason to leave the first time....and they dropped the girls again. Once, I was good friends with the girlfriend, and she was much more cut up about the second dump than the first.

I'm in no way saying that's what Adam (hope I got the name right) is doing. Even if he is, I don't think it's necessarily going to all fall apart...and I certainly don't think he's doing it intentionally. It's just that those sudden "turn on a dime" changes sound awfully familiar. But I don't know your life, I don't know your relationship, and I don't have a crystal ball. I just always thought that if the girls my brothers (whom I really do love....I just wouldn't have let my friends date them when they were younger) had been a bit more careful, they could've saved themselves some heartbreak...and maybe even helped the guys talk about what was really wrong instead of pretending it didn't exist any more.

I really do hope it all comes good for you, I hate being a doomsayer...but you did ask. I can't help thinking you might've been looking for a devil's advocate, just a little. Serious appologies if this was a buzz-kill that pisses you off. Take comfort in that it really is just:

my 2cents.

Ginge