Oh, the entire text of PD Eastman's kids' book, "Snow" is hilarious if you merely replace the word "snow" witht he word "sex".

A couple examples:
"Sex is good for me and you. Men and women. Horses, too."

"Sex is good. It lets you slide. it lets you give your dog a ride."

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.