Subject: ATHLETES >Date: Sun, 5 Oct 2003 08:56:07 EDT > >Why Athletes Can't
(Shouldn't) Have Real Jobs > > 1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on
being a role model: "I >wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me.
I wan' all >the kids to copulate me." > > 2. New Orleans Saint RB George
Rogers when asked about the >upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or
1,500 yards, >whichever comes first." > > 3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of
the 'Skins say: "I'd run over >my own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt
Millen of the Raiders >said: "To win,I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." > > 4.
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John > Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." > > 5. Football
commentator and former player Joe Theismann, >1996: "Nobody in football
should be called a genius. A genius is a >guy like Norman Einstein." > > 6.
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm > going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now >that is beautiful) > >
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line >up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of >three, and
then line up in a circle." > > 8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson
going to prison: "Why >would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went
to prison for >three years, not Princeton." > > 9. Stu Grimson, Chicago
Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he >keeps a color photo of himself
above his locker: "That's so when I >forget how to spell my name, I can
still find my clothes." > > 10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the
Spartan training >regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets
up at >six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is." > > 11.
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, >explaining to Coach
Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at >practice: "My sister's expecting a
baby, and I don't know if I'm >going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder
if his IQ ever hit >room temperature in January) > > 12. Frank Layden, Utah
Jazz president, on a former player: "I >told him, 'Son, what is it with you?
Is it ignorance or apathy?' >He said, 'Coach,I don't know and I don't
care.'" > > 13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting
>what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks >to me
like you're spending too much time on one subject." > > 14. Amarillo High
School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked >by Bob Costas why he takes
his wife on all the road trips, > Phillips responded: "Because she is too
damn ugly to kiss good- >bye." > > > > >

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Don't jump to the conclusion,that I'm against athletes!I was heavily involved in Gymnastics.I was also on the track team.
Irish
P.S.This was sent to me&I thought that you guys would think it was funny.

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Irish,

Just a suggestion, but if you parsed those emails before you posted them, they'd be easier to enjoy.

__________________
Eudaimonia

Subject: ATHLETES Date: Sun, 5 Oct 2003 08:56:07 EDT Why Athletes Can't (Shouldn't) Have Real Jobs

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win,I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."

4.Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,I don't know and I don't care.'"

13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good- bye."

__________________
FussyPucker

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...

Sarcasm: It's not big and it's not clever...........but it's funny as fuck!

The Special One!

Don't remember who said it during an interview, but this one's cracked me up since hearing it: "If I had not been playing football all my life...I would not be playing football today."

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.