This is a rather "complicated" situation, so I'd appreciate hearing from those (especially women) with depth, intelligence, open-mindedness and understanding.

Ok, here goes (it gets very convoluded, so try to follow carefully)...

I have a very deep connection to my sensual side, even "raunchiness" feeling sensual to me. I also have a deep connection to my "fem" side, which goes hand-in-hand with that. This is expressed more internally, but externally through sex, such asrecieving (anal), being very vocal and generally almost "fem" where sex is concerned. This is a very strong part of me, and my S/O knows (and respects me) for this.

I've never actually been with another guy, but I love anal, having used dildos etc. I fantasize about it all the time, getting the "real thing", and feel I need to experience it soon.

I'm not totally satisfied with my sex life as it is, and this just makes me feel even more stifled. Though my S/O is willing to try new things, to an extent, that's exactly how it is... to an extent.

I am very sexual by nature, and it's a big part of my life.

Bottom line is: I'd like to have an experience with another "fem" male, or a straight couple or group. Even though there are other females involved, I still feel it would be "different", as I identify very strongly with females, especially sexually, as opposed to males, therefore do not feel it would be the same as "infidelity".

Once, my S/O said she'd have no problem, as far as she felt at the time, to "letting" me have the experience of being with another guy. Then, it changed, and became, "well, I don't know... we'd have to see", with a very almost jealous attitude or uncomfortability.

Thing is, to fully "connect" to this feeling I have of identifying with the "fem" side of myself, as well as fulfilling other fantasies that are very strong, I would need to follow-through on a sexual encounter outside our relationship. While she has become very open-minded since being with me (and is most likely my future wife, as it would seem), I don't think she'd be comfortable with this.

In turn, this almost subconsciously makes me uncomfortable with my own sexuality. For, while she tells me it's positive and great to be sexually open and enjoy/express the things I do, I also feel like I'm being "held back", in a sense, by perhaps both her own "shortcomings" (I hate to put it that way) sexually and/or her uncomfortability with me experiencing other things with other people.

Don't get me wrong, I love my S/O very deeply, and am not looking for "greener grass" anywhere. This is just a very deep and personal essence I feel needs to finally be expressed.

The only way I'd every do anything with another women (if it were a couple and/or group experience) would be if a man were involved (with me), as it would feel as if... how can I say this without sounding "weird"... as if I were actually another woman, due to my connection to the "fem" essence and sexuality.

It's a very specific, almost spiritual thing for me.

I don't know if many can follow what I'm saying, but if so, I'd like to hear some feedback on this.

Before you answer, realize that I've covered all bases in asking her (mostly) what she'd be comfortable with and, no, she would not be interested in joining in anything like this. Not that I would expect that, as like I said, this is a very "specific" thing for me to express for myself.

I'm just so sexual by nature, and see even "raunchy" sex as sensual, that I feel it needs to be fully expressed instead of repressed, which is just causing me some problems in a few areas, including mentally as well as sexually.

Anyway, that's the gist of it... don't know how much more I could elaborate on this.

Address this from any angle you'd like (i.e. the sexual issue for me strictly, the sexual in general etc.) but just remember that I am very honorable, and would never dishonor my S/O in any way.

Oooof - tricky!

OK - here goes. Firstly, your S/O should be and should remain the centre of your life. If you feel differently, then you are already letting her down and should address the problem one way or the other.

ANY other relationship you get into, M or F, will detract from what you owe your S/O - so don't start one. Don't even think about it.

With your S/O's participation, a 3some with a male who is not a close friend or relation is a possibility, as long as you realise that you have invited him into your bed so both you and your S/O can use him as a sort of super-sex-toy. Then he gets up and leaves, end of story.

Suggest you both look at another approach. Look at vixencreations.com or feeldoe.com and get a strap-on that fits into your lady and lets her fuck you with the other end (it's best to get one of these sophisticated ones that give her pleasure too). This way she can dominate your fem side and you will get your jollies within your existing relationship. Much better solution.

First, I would like to say that it is awesome that you are that in-tune with what turns you on, and open enough with your significant other to express that with her. I agree with Eric in saying that you might want to look into a realistic strapon. That said, I am a woman, and I do realize that there is NOTHING, but NOTHING like the real thing when it comes to a man's penis. If you feel that this is something that you need to fulfill, my advice is that you do not go behind your s/o's back to start a relationship or have a threesome that does not include her. If she is already somewhat jealous or uneasy about the idea, this will definitely make her feel like you do not value her feelings. From your post, however, I can see that you do. Perhaps she does not understand exactly how much this means to you... Keep in mind though, that while she has not exactly been thrilled with the idea, she also has not vetoed it either. I would talk to her about it, tell her the strength of your feelings for her and your (eventual) plan that she should be your wife, and find out exactly what it is about the idea that she is hesitant about. I hope that you are both able to work through it, and that if you do have the threesome it is a stellar experience. Take care and let us know how it goes.
Hugs,
Kate

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I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the truth of imagination. What the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth - whether it existed before or not.
-John Keats

There is no dishonor in honesty! That said.......I want to compliment you on your communication skills with your S/O and with us! I understand your plight completely.....and I feel you know the answer.......but you are seeking "back-up".

You tip-toe around your "fem" feelings.......with us....and so I wonder if your S/O truly understands the deep emotion you have about this insightful part of yourself. Most men suppress their feminine side. And, we all know each gender has both, though one being more dominant than the other. It seems to me what you are actually questioning is......"Have I made myself clear in my desires...without coming off as a gay man"?

If I am correct.......(and I never assume...but I hope I have come close)......the answer here is quite simple. Reassurance! You have the gift of communication, always_horny....but you might be falling short in your wish to get across that this is just one [unexplored] part of all that makes up the person that is you....the person your S/O fell in love with.

In the initial phase of a relationship most people will put up their best "front".....agreeing with any and all things spoken or done with the other is not an unusual course. Sooner or later that person will start showing their true self and feelings towards repeated...and significant "not so good" actions. What I feel has happened in your particular relationship is......your S/O wanted you....heart and soul.......and now that she has you....her turn-about is her just letting you know her true feelings....the feelings she initially felt, but didn't want to discourage any chance of a long term relationship with you. In other words....she said what she thought you wanted to hear.

I'm not saying she isn't all that you've said she is.....as I think she seems like a wonderful person. I'm saying......she is now opening up to you because she feels you have both come to a point where you can divulge all of your deepest feelings. So..again I say.....reassurance is the key at this point in your relationship. Don't clam up now! You are halfway there in your "awakening". She has to feel from you....the intensity that you conveyed here...as to your love for her, but your need to explore the unexplored. You can include her in this all the way.....or...by clamming up and trying to spare her any uncertainty.....you may just create uncertainty. She'll not forget this revelation about you. She'll always think about, even if you never bring it up again........and there will always be a tinge of jealousy.....if you don't forge ahead with TLC and show her that you have a need.

Movies might be a good start. Rent some things pertaining to this topic. Make sure you don't spring them on her. She should be well aware of all of your intentons from this point on. I wish you the best in your future.....and all that you've yet to explore and enjoy!

Oh...I almost forgot......when I first read this thread I thought...."He feels like being feminine or "fem" is to be dominated".........and if that's the case.....you can change the wording of your explaination because I know many a VERY dominant woman! You are just more in touch with your feminine side.....and that my friend.....is such a wonderful thing!

You have very good communications skills with you SO ..

But if you want to try a new thing I would say do it with some she would feel comfortable with ...

That is there for Safe sex ...

If she is willing to do that then I think its all right

Sounds to me she is getting left out of your thought because you want to try sex with a man..

I would ask her to find the man for you and have a threesome so she won't feel left out at all ...

A good suggestion is try to find a gay man that wants to try to have sex with a woman .. That way there won't be any hurt feelings or mix ups on what is right or wrong and your So won't feel as jealous as she does now if she is thinking that you want a straight man to try with..

Just my thoughts but good luck !

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when life hand you an orange make SCREW DRIVERS