02-17-2006, 03:47 PM
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Registered Dork
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,714
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Army Retirement
The ARMY found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Colonel who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Colonel insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Colonel to "drop em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Colonel's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Colonel calmly replied..."In Vietnam!!!"
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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!
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02-17-2006, 09:33 PM
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Registered Dork
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,714
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And now...for something completely different...........
Peter met Sharon in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of the evening Sharon invited Peter to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together.
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other.
After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Peter's manhood. Surprised but appreciative, Peter comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more already?"
Sharon replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I miss the days when I had mine."
hee hee heeeeeeeeeee........
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__________________
Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!
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02-17-2006, 09:48 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,565
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LOL I liked the last one
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02-18-2006, 12:19 AM
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Missing the Angels
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 10,793
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Lmao
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02-18-2006, 12:21 AM
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1 of 8,111,103,258
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,483
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..."In Vietnam!!!"
ROFL
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PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie
"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"
Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!
real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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02-18-2006, 11:26 AM
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Pixie since 9/3/2001
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 16,995
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I think I knew that Colonel
ROFLMAO
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Growing older is manditory, growing up is optional
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