Okay, here's the whole story.

There's this guy. Let's call him.. George. George and I have known each other for 10 years, since the 8th grade. In high school, we were very close, we were like brother and sister. We used to hang out, despite the fact that we were in completely different cliques, and he used to stand up for me against the stupid people who decided to call me fat, a brainyac, etc. George was a sweetheart in high school. He was stupid, took drugs, and drank, but he was sweet. When I had a stalker at the age of 15, George protected me. He even took a few beatings for protecting me, but he did it.

Right after we graduated (should mention, we went to Catholic school), George told me that he'd been fantasizing about me sexually since the 10th grade. I was like "why?". He told me it was because he figured that under that Catholic exterior, I was a tiger just waiting to pounce. As I started to be sexually active with other people, George got more insistent that he wanted a piece. He never wanted a RELATIONSHIP, just a fuck. I always said no, because it was GEORGE.. like, it would have felt like incest, we were just so close in high school.

Anyway, 6-8 months ago, we talked for the last time. He asked again, and I said no. I'm in a happy relationship, and I wasn't going to fuck it up for just a lay. He then asked me to keep things to myself, because he didn't want his friends (from high school) to find out. I asked why, and he said "well, you're the fat, dorky chick from high school that nobody wanted... and I have a reputatioin to protect". I told him to fuck off, and then put him on ignore, and blocked as much of his emails, pms, etc, as I could.

Fast-forward to two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, I get a PM on another site that I post at. I hadn't told him that I belonged to that site, and here, he'd found me. His PM asked if I was mad at him, and why I hadn't contacted him. (He never was that smart). I cold-listed him and ignored the PM, and then in the next couple days, he formed 4 or 5 new identities to PM me with. Each of those, I blocked, as well. Today, I logged into ANOTHER site that I use, which he knew I posted at, but had never known my name there.. and found a PM in my box from him.

He's getting creepy. Because we were friends, he knows my phone number, he knows where I live, and he knows a great amount of the details of my life. None of his emails have been threatening, just irritating... what the fuck should I do?

You're doing the right thing! Just keep cool and keep it up.

What a jerk...oh yeah, talk down to me, that'll get me to fuck you anytime!

GEEZ PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID

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~Tainted Love~

I KNOW! I was like.. uh.. I'm the fat, dorky chick that no one wanted... yup, that'll get you in my pants. Mmmhmm. Yup.

Fuck, he's stupid. But he's getting really intrusive.

*sigh*

Honey. Right NOW, you go find one of those PMs, and you DOCUMENT it, and you reply with this statement:

The next time that you contact me, I will contact the police. I do not wish any futher contact from you, of any kind. I consider your behavior to be harassment. I do nto want to speak further with you, I do not want to explain, I do not want to be friends. I wish for you to NEVER contact me again. If you do, I will consider it a threat and contact the police.

This is nothing to fool with, and nothing but a direct, blunt, ABSOLUTELY DEFINITE AND FINISHING STATEMENT is good enough. I mean it, rapes are done by people that the woman knows. Put a stop to it now, I cannot stress that enough. TELL YOUR PARTNER. Be sure your partner knows this guy is out there and stalking you. Be sure he knows that a stalker will do or say anything to destroy your life.

And I cannot say it with enough conviction, or with enough force, or enough emphasis. WARN HIM to back off, TELL THE POLICE, and if he contacts you again, GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. Accept that he has crossed the line, the friendship is gone, and he is now like any other criminal. Take that into your mind, and embrace it. HE dropped the ball here. You are worth taking good care of, so go take care of yourself. This is serious stuff, ex friend or total stranger, creepiness is creepiness.

If you feel alarmed now, good. If you don't, you should. Take this serious, it is.

Well put, Sweetlady, and I think very good advice.

Sweetlady, both of my rapes were by people I knew.

I've sent him the message you suggested. I know that this is going to explode into something really disgusting. He's got a lot of my pictures that I've posted online saved, and I just know it's going to get ugly.

*sigh*

ANd now I'm fucking terrified. God, I hope this doesn't get worse.

Oh, and to clarify, my S/O knows who this guy is. He knows what has passed between us, he knows everything. And when he gets home today, I have to warn him about what could turn out to be very ugly.

Go to the police now, then. It's that simple. Ugly, or dead?

If you have told him you will get a restraining order, and you feel threatened by his behavior already, and he still persists, you go to the police, and you tell them, "I want you to be aware. I know you can't do anything, but I need you to know about it." and be honest with them and up-front. Tell them you're worried about pictures you have posted that are a bit revealing (they don't need to know more than that). Tell them you are scared of the harassment. Tell them you think he is tracking your IP address. Then, tell your IP provider that you need a new IP address IMMEDIATELY because you are being harassed, see what they can do for you.

If nothing else, if he does contact you further, you should begin to save the PMs and emails.

Your life, or a potential mess? We care which choice you make. We are here for you in the ways we can be, we support you as much as we have ability to.

What SL said. Really can't be emphasized enough. Especially the part about documentation.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Also, check or have your computer checked for spyware, and be *thorough*. You may wish to tell your ISP that you believe someone is stalking you online as they may be able to notice anomalous traffic to your machine (such as spyware, intrusion attempts, etc) and it may also motivate them to keep relevant logs longer for a possible future investigation.

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I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

An excellent suggestiom, Belial...in fact, everybody should check for spyware regularly...I recommend Spybot, it's a free download, & they don't junk up your machine with their own advertising, like some others I could name...

And I'm glad lil82 is taking this stalker seriously...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

I have ad-aware on my computer, which does a good job of keeping me spyware-free... I'm meticulous about cleaning my computer thorougly once or twice a week.

I haven't heard from him since I sent that message to him, and have had all my pictures removed from the internet, changed names everywhere (except here, cus I'm pretty sure he doesn't know I'm here)... *sigh*

I would also get a firewall. You can do this with software or hardware. I would use black ice or Zone alarm.

I would start to document and save everything that is being sent to you. I am sorry to hear of your problem. Just be safe!!!

Hocque

Recently i've had a simmilar problem. I would check first with your local police to see what exactly has to be done to obtain a restraining order. In my state you must press criminal charges in order to reciece one but you must fill out a complaint when you ask at the station. that is then kept on file incase something does happen. If it's just on the computer i reccomend you change your screene names and e-mail addresses, if he is saying threating things to you. SAVE THOSE and print them if you do press charges. this way you will have proof. I hope things get better for you and if you ever need to talk, just PM me i'm here several times a day. *huggles*

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"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

((((((((Lilith_82)))))))))

I fully endorse what SL and Belial have said.

You are being brave and practical, the only way to rid yourself of this interference in your life. This is abnormal probably obsessive behaviour and must be stopped.

It must be frightening and I am sending warm hugs your way.