We moved to New Mexico and I had hopes of re-starting our sex life. Nothing. We've been here since the end of July. We've had a lot going on, but we rarely kiss and hug, anymore. My husband says he's totally tired all of the time. That he's worn out. He works a desk job, but it's stressful. I'm not working, but I am still unpacking boxes and scrubbing everything, yardwork, etc. I'm frustrated beyond belief. We never seem to be "in the mood" at the same time. I'm starting to numb my feelings down and just use a vibrator when I'm absolutely desperate. I'm missing sleep at night and have to resort to Tylenol PM about every 4th night. I'm pretty sure that if we could get our sex life moving, things would be a little better. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

If he's worn out, tell him...

"Honey, I know you're tired. Just let me do all the work. And if I can't get you excited -- that's OK. Just lay back and let me *try* -- it'll feel good even if you don't cum."

...I've never had him tell me to stop. And I've never had him not cum.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Talk to him about it *after* the sex, so he feels less pressure.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Thanks osuche. I have tried that. He just doesn't want to be bothered. He occasionally gives me a kiss and a smile and that's that. It's not medication, either. I'm kind of at a loss and puzzled. There aren't any other people involved, either.

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Just be yourself. The rest will fall in line.

Hiya Mae.. welcome back..

I don't have much advice to give.. but I will offer you hugs.. and warm thoughts.. I hope that for his sake.. he realizes what he has.. before it is lost... a person can only deny their own needs for so long before looking elsewhere for what they NEED..

Men will be men Mae! Oh wait.......Welcum back hun!

Anyway......he just might be as tired as he says.....and he could really need a physical! Most men don't go to the doc's and keep things to themselves, thinking it'll all work out in time and he'll be his old self again. I know it's that way with my hubby and he ended up in the hospital for a colectomy (had 8+ inches of his colon removed) because he had a pain that he swore was constipation (for 3 weeks). Turns out his appendix imploded and infected his colon which exploded! Talk about pain!!!

But....I don't mean that your hubby has anything so wrong! It could just be that he is a tad iron deficient....or that stress is killing his libido. But.....he is in definite need of a COMPLETE physical! And he'll not make the appointment either! You have to! Don't even ask him......or, if need be, tell him a [new] insurance company is requesting he get one........but just make the appointment for a day and time when you KNOW he can keep it......and then make him go! This is important for all men.....but especially those who have no reason for their tiredness and lack of wanna! They always think they'll wait it out! Do what you have to do to get to the bottom of it all hun! Good luck!

*hugs*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Thank you Lixy. I'm hoping that, if we take it slow, we'll make it back there.

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Just be yourself. The rest will fall in line.

I totally agree with what Lixy said. I know a guy that was having some slight pain in his groin... but he wouldn't call the doc. So his wife made the appt and they found testicular cancer. They caught it early enough and only had to remove one testicle. I doubt your hubby has anything so drastic, as Lixy said, but a physical could uncover something. Maybe even just a needed change in lifestyle... ie., more relaxation. Good luck Mae, and welcome back!

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Thanks, Aqua. I'm hoping to loosen up a little, myself. We're both waaayy too uptight.

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Just be yourself. The rest will fall in line.