03-04-2006, 04:06 PM
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Missing the Angels
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 10,793
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Hillbillies......Rednecks........whuuuut!!!
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore........
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE".
Check out the new Redneck Bra too........
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03-04-2006, 05:21 PM
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My own little world
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: TN
Posts: 4,006
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I'm so glad I'm a redneck and NOT politically correct! lol
__________________
I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi
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03-04-2006, 05:41 PM
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1 of 8,111,103,258
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,482
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Quote:
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
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ROFLMAO
Laughed until my cheeks cramped.
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie
"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"
Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!
real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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03-04-2006, 06:06 PM
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~*Geeky Girl*~
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On the farm
Posts: 47,960
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OMG, I'm an Appalachian-American.
__________________
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author
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03-04-2006, 06:24 PM
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1 of 8,111,103,258
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,482
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OMG Does that make me a 'Greatlakeian'?
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie
"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"
Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!
real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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03-04-2006, 06:37 PM
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Awesome on my Own
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Schoolhouse Rocks!
Posts: 4,366
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sooo since i am an Iowegian....am i CORN ENHANCED??
ROFLMAO!!!
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03-05-2006, 01:41 AM
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Mr Lizzardbits
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: on a bus
Posts: 1,681
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OMG OMG OMG toooooooooooooooo funny
__________________
Everyone Talks, Friends Listen
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03-05-2006, 05:52 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,686
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It's too close to Territorian comfort.
__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
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03-05-2006, 06:38 AM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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ROTFLMAO. Those are terrific!
Sexually focused!!
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