I have been married for 5 years, and I beleave that my wife truly loves me, I think that we have that deep down felt love that we all look for, you know that inner conection. My problem is that it has been 3 years sence we have had intercourse, she just is not intersted in doing that at all. We do have oral about every 4 or 5 weeks but even that begiens with a certain amount of begging on my part. When I stoke her fire with my mouth she really does warm up and enjoys herself, and she does return the faver. I want to know does any one else have this problem.

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Try it once, and if you don"t like it, try it again to make sure

I am sorry to hear that Kentuckyguy...nobody should go without intercourse for that long..especially being married. Have you talked about it with her? Ask her why she no longer wants intercourse? There could be some medical problems...pain during intercourse..etc......I also find when one gets into a major depression that they lose interest in sex...I suggest you talk with her and get to the root of the problem...maybe even seek medical advice if needed....or a marriage/sex counsellor...I wish you all the best and please keep us posted.....

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*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Yes we have talked about it many times and I have even tried to lead her toward seeking professional help. Funny that you should mention having pain during intercourse, she says that it does hurt. About a year ago I got her to go to see a doctor, he gave her medication. The wife only half assed took the pills, and even then only took about 1/3 of them. You see other then intercourse there is no pain, so in her mind if it don’t hurt don’t treat, just cut out what makes it hurt. I have finely got her to go to a specialist next Thursday, maybe he can get the idea of how important it is to get this taken care of for her health, as well as our marriage.

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Try it once, and if you don"t like it, try it again to make sure

She needs medical attention...only a Dr. can assess whether her behavior or lack of is due to physical or psychological reasons. Irregardless I am sure she loves you and it sounds as if you are doing the right things to get help. (((hugs)))

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

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Hope that everything works out. Pain is there for a reason (warning about something) so it;s good that you've managed to persuade her to see someone... it sounds like the two of you have a good relationship otherwise, so thats good.

Good luck :-)

KentuckyGuy......I am very happy that she is seeing a specialist!
That's a good sign! I hope everything goes well on Thursday and please do keep us posted!

I wish you lucK!

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*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I hope the doc can help your wife find out whats causing the pain.A sexless marriage isn't really a marriage it's more like living with your best friend. My ex cheated, lied and drank so much when were together that I stopped giving him sex. After a few months passed it didn't bother me. I got used to taking care of my own needs. Since so much time has passed it probably is more routine to her not to have sex. She knows you love her so I guess she's not aware of the damage it's causing to your relationship.I wish you both the best and hopefully soon you won't be able to keep your hands off one another!

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sassy

When I was with my ex I lost all sex drive (he'd hate to see what I'm like now - he'd be gutted) and there were a mixture of reasons for it. For me, sex became painful but that was more because I was not relaxed enough to enjoy it when we had it and I made the mistake of going along with it for the sake of it a couple of times. Huge mistake! I got to the point where I'd actually have panic attacks half way through sex and we'd have to stop. There were a number of different reasons which tended to feed off themselves. One was that my ex didn't seem interested in turning me on before sex. He'd just ask me if we could have sex and I'd either have to say yes or no. If he'd just approached me right he would have been able to persuade me and I'm sure it would have been fun. I also had a trust issue with him, that I felt he wouldn't respect me if I let my own sexuality show because he was quite straight laced (or so it seemed to me. Perhaps he was just repressing himself as well!) There were other problems in our relationship which is why we split, and if I'd known then what I know now, I doubt it would have been a problem. I firmly believe it's a case of opening up your mind to sex and then the physical stuff will take care of itself (unless there is an actual medical problem there obviously). Try talking to her about fantasies and see if you can get her to open up in a safe environment, and assure her that no matter how turned on the conversation might make you, you're not going to bug her for sex. For me a lot of the problem was feeling guilty that I didn't want to have sex and trying to force the issue, because i knew it's what my partner wanted.

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'Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone you love'

- Woody Allen