my boyfriend of 4 years has told me he wants to fuckother women.I cant express in words how i feel about this i just want advice on if there are any ways to live with this.I dont neccassarily want to break up with him, and right now due to my position its very hard .Can anyone give me any advice or tell me about there own experiences or how they over came it?

Wow. Since it seems it was shocking to you, I'm guessing it came out of left field?

It would be different if you were talking about open relationships and the topic came up but if he is saying it's what he wants and there's no discussion and you're not comfortable with it, the question is -- will you be able to stay with him?

I know there are Pixies who have had open relationships but it's been a mutual decision.

If it's just one partner making the decision, it may mean that partner is selfish and wants to "spread his wings".

What did you tell him? What was his reaction?

Did he mean bring other women into your relationship, as in having a 3 sum?
Or did he mean other women seperate from you?
How do you feel about either of these?

Decide what you want, what you can handle and then sit him down for a long talk.
Thats my only advice..... talk.

Good Luck!

If he's thinking about an open relationship, how does he feel about you being with other guys while he is off chasing other women?

Maybe he thinks that he is missing something by being in a monogamous relationship?

The best thing is to sit down, talk about it, and figure out why he's reached this decision and what BOTH of you are going to do to with it.

Good luck, and don't hesitate if you need any more advice or support.

Tell him you're gonna fuck other men and get over it. He's not the only fish in the sea darlin and quit putting his ass on a pedestal because he don't deserve it.
Don't EVER put yourself in a position to where you HAVE to have a man to get by and you'll do just fine.
I'm sorry these are some harsh words but you need to learn be self sufficient.
Such is life nowadays.

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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

Cowgirl is wise. And damn sexy, but that's another thread. I concur with her opinion on this matter.

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Go then. There are other worlds than these.

I'm sorry girlfriend but after 3 husbands and MANY boyfriends this is exactly why I hide my heart. They are gonna have to SHOW ME.

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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

The best thing is to talk talk talk talk talk talk if he wants and open relationship and you want that as well then you need to make sure that the comunications between you to are working. With open relationships you have to trust your partner to follow the rules that both of you have set forth before hand.

If this is something that you do not want you need to tell him that you do not want it, and if he still wants after you talked about then get rid of him and find some one that will listen to what you want and need.

Just so that you know i was in a open relationship with my last relationship she was the one that wanted it and when i started to partake of the openess of it she got upset. Then i found out that she could not be trusted.

Remember that you and he need to set down and talk about what you all want.

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May you live as long as you want, and want as long as you live!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the fuck about her??????????? What if she doesn't want that?
I say FUCK HIM! It's too late to talk. He didn't give a shit about sitting down and exploring options beforehand now did he? The last thing that needs to happen is for her to lose what dignity she has left and beg him.

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I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

[QUOTE=looking4fun]If this is something that you do not want you need to tell him that you do not want it, and if he still wants after you talked about then get rid of him and find some one that will listen to what you want and need.QUOTE]

If she does not want that type of relationship then she needs to get rid of him.

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May you live as long as you want, and want as long as you live!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having only the few opening sentences, I can only tell you how I’m reading them and one prospective.

1) This sounded like a complete surprise to you and DOESN’T sound like he was “asking” or “discussing” that he wants to bring other women into the relationship. The words you can’t express doesn’t seem to be ones of confusion or acceptance for you. Only dismay.

If that’s the status, edicts don’t come from partners, and slavery is not a relationship.

2) If “any ways to live with this” can be interpreted as a positive for you, I need to be enlightened.

3) Is a change in YOUR position going to make it a willing and desired relationship? If not, your position needs to start changing NOW.

:cents:

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While I think you should never settle for less than you want/deserve, I also think that you need to look into this before you jump off the deep end. I would tend to over-react, too.... but please try to get to the bottom of it before you flip out. I've been guilty too many times of going nuts for no good reason but that my imagination got the best of me. Check it out asap!

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~

Wait for the shock to wear off first before making a rash decision

If ya dont want it to happen then say that there is no way in hell thats happening sonny

If you are of mixed mind wether ya want to or not or you want to go ahead....then sit and discuss it with him....lay the rules on what you expect IF it went ahead

Only you can decide if you can cope with another woman...no one else can really make that decision for you IMHO

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Well thank you all for the advice.It turns out that he just told me that hoping I would break up with him to make it easier on himslef.Yes he does wantto fuck other women still, and he even wants to still fuck me ocassionally he just doesnt want a relationship cramping his style and not letting him be the big man on campus that he so obviously is.It sounds as if im mad but its more hurt than anything else.We had some issues but this did all come out of left field he had kept things bottled up for months and refused to tell me even when i asked.He took my heart and put it into the shredder and now just wants to move on and act like we never were yes i sound like every o ther pathetic girl whos ever been dumped and i guess ii am.Ill just never understand mans capacity ti hurt .I in a million years could never have done this to someone i say i love(im talking about the methos he chose to break up with me and the actions he didnt take) especially when he says he still loves me.I dunno i have an empty burning hole where my heart used to be and i dont understand how in a week your whole life ceases to exist.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) I remember feeling exactly how you feel. Broken, devastated but I also know that when I look back on it some 38452934879587236 years later I can see that it didn't just happen because of something that occured in a week or a day, it was building since the begining. I believe that every person who comes into our life is there for some reason. I know you hurt now but when you look back and see what lesson you derrived from this experience, you will be a stronger person. In fact you already are.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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