Just letting my Pixies family know that my love is having some problems that are out of her control at the moment.

I hardly hear of her at the moment and it is causing me some difficulty especially as I had someone that I loved for years withdraw from me when she had problems. I emailed Curvy and said that I was struggling because i felt excluded and that I wanted to help her through it and support her.

I got this reply

I know that it has been incredibly difficult lately. I would not blame you for any feelings that you may have towards me right now. Please know that my feelings have not changed, but my situation has. I am trying to hold on for my mom, my kids, and my father. My mother has had surgery on the brain cancer and she has been diagnosed with Paget's disease. My dad and I have talked about some personality changes we have noticed since the surgery (which is difficult to take). Starting next week she will begin chemotheropy. The outlook is very guarded. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. School starts for the kids next week, but I'm not sure that I can return to Montana right now. Everything is such a mess.

That was the first I had heard from her in 2 weeks and we have not had a phone chat in over two months.

It is starting to effect me a bit, I am worried for her and whilst I know she is handling a difficult situation, I wish she would lean on me for support a little.
It is such a strain being kept in the dark most of the time, living alone and waiting for the divorce to be finalised and then getting over to her in December was a hard task in itself without the lack of communication thrown in.

There is not a thing that I can do and I feel so useless.

Oh gosh, I've been gone for so long I'm not quite up to date with you honey.
Is there a reason why you aren't there already? Why you're waiting until December?

It IS real hard to lean on someone who isn't physically there, and maybe that's what's going on with her.

I'm so sorry she's got such a lot of stuff going on in her life right now, tough stuff, life and death stuff for the most part. That much attention to her life here might be what keeps her from leaning on you as well....the fact that she may not have a lot of time TO lean on someone else. She sounds like a tough cookie though.

I guess I'd just keep encouraging her to lean on you, let her know that you WANT her to do that if she needs to.

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

Being a carer for my aged mother I can understand what she has to deal with. I am also close to someone in the States having a hard time. If you want to chat let me know.

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Half of a set :halo:

Oh my friend, I feel your pains as well as hers. Such a tough situation. Being there with her Mum is so consuming. Surely she feels she has to be strong for the rest of the family and in the process has no time for herself. When I was in the situation with my Dad I lost all track of everyone else outside the immediate family. It's not a time one can distinguish day from night, you're "just there" As for your plight, I too had a long distance relationship halfway around the world and got disconnected for quite some time. It seems there's no way around feeling useless and alone. Her response seems positive but the situation is just tough as nails. Faith is the only answer my friend. It's not an easy one but I've had it get me through some really mean times. I think it's fair to say too you've got some friends here who are more than eager to help anyway we can. Reach out, we'll do our best. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

oh grumble, hang in there....i know how hard it is to be in your shoes right now.....i've been there myself.....keep showing your support and love for her....YOU keep sending e-mails and such......trust me, it will help her thru this awful time in her life, even if she doesn't get to respond like you'd like her to....."love is patient. love is kind"......i do wish you the best.......and like bigbear said, count on your friends at pixies

Sweety,

I didn't know things have gotten so disconnected. Her letter to you doesn't sound evasive or off-putting, so I have to assume she is consumed with the happenings of her mom, and I have to admit that would take priority for me as well. This situation you are in...though not totally unique, but really difficult...is the toughest part on you and Curvy's relationship. If all you can do right now is just keep emailing her...then do just that and she'll have a collection to rely on when she has time to read them and the need to feel close to you. From what I know of her, she is a pretty independent woman and maybe she just really thinks she is sparing you unecessary worry when there is no way you can be there now to help. I understand your feelings as to wanting to do anything you can...and you are by just letting her know you are there for her when she needs you. Keep in touch with her. The waiting has to be the worst, but it'll be comforting for her when she has the time to get all your mail. December isn't all that far away, but to you it may seem like years. Hang in there hun...and email me anytime!

*hugs*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

I guess the only thing I can comment on is.....Why no telephone contact?????
I am sure that even though she is going through a rough time right now the two of you could and should take a time to talk on the phone. I would try to arrange a call with her. A ten minute call could surely fit in somewhere and it would do so much to take away the angst you are starting to feel. Just my thoughts anyway.....