Hi all, I have a quick couple questions for you all..

I have a problem with trust..I know it, i can identify were it comes from *last few gfs really just lied to me all the time* So now Im so damn cautious that it feels like I can't trust anyone anymore. Has anyone ever been in this position? Its gotten so bad that I don't even wanna bother with any relationship anymore.. Its been like this close to a year now since my last relationship and its worst now then ever b4.

The other question and the other reason I feel like this is, doesn't anyone like subtly and passion anymore? *Thanks Robert Lamm for the song :lol: * I mean it just seems like all ppl what to do anymore is fuck and move on...they dont wanna get close and tease and have fun. Sex to me is an extension of love, not something you share with a stranger on the street or at the bar, doesnt it seem like everything about good old fashion love is dead??

Is it possible that people withdraw and become secretive because of your inherent distrust?

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Anything is possible Irish.

The catch 22 is that because of the problems b4, it has made me like this lol Feel like im trying to fly a lead ballon here.

Perhaps your trust issue is not one to with other people....perhaps the person you trust least is yourself.

You've made some poor judgements/choices when it comes to past relationships, so now, you don't feel you can trust your own instincts enough to choose a partner who is going to be reliable.

Being alone is a good way to re-examine your past relationships and see where it went wrong. Did you just choose the wrong type of person? If these girls were cheating on you (which by the tone of your post I'm guessing they did) were they trying to communicate that they needed more from the relationship than they were getting and you just didn't 'hear' what they were asking for? Were there warning signs that this was happening/going to happen that you ignored?

These are the questions you need to address in order to heal, so that you can then get out there and start afresh without the baggage of the failed relationships you've experienced before.

As for the question of sex vs love: love is out there, but the time has to be right, the person has to be right and YOU have to be right - that'll come when the other issues are sorted.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

Not everyone wants sudden love and commitment.

Pick your mark.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I've totally been there. With me, it was my significant other cheating on me for three months. I was constantly catching him in lies, calling him at work and he wasn't there--that whole bit. This was 4 years ago. We've worked it all out, gone to counselling, etc, etc. But there is still that little voice of doubt that questions him occasionally. And I don't think I will ever be able to trust anyone 100% ever again.

Over time, it will get easier--you'll become less neurotic and paranoid in your relationships. But you will always remain a bit guarded. Always on your toes, wondering if the other person is completely faithful. But maybe that is not such a bad thing. We never truly really know anyone, and to think otherwise is just asking for trouble.

mara

I don't see anything wrong with just wanting sex, but there's no excuse in treating the other person like shit or less than human or showing less respect than they deserve just because they want that. Some people aren't fully into themselves sexually enough to respect others when wanting sex just for fun. It's fucked to have to deal with those types, but not everyone is like that...and there are people out there who aren't so jaded that they can't take it slower...even if it's just for play.

I'm one of those people not really meant to have a conventional relationship with someone that leads to marriage, kids, dog & cat, etc...although I can't write it out completely —*things could change in the future, I don't have a crystal ball — I'm just not feeling that happening at all anymore. I gave most of my twenties towards trying to have that and in doing so, I've paid my price with failures of bridges I ain't crossing again...so right now I'm comfortable and having fun in being relatively single and enjoying the company of casual dating and sex. I don't want a solid relationship right now unless the other can be open and reeeealy patient. There's things I want and need to do that I neglected in my earlier years...and I can't give properly to another for marriage or whatever until I've accomplished those things. Therefore, I'm keeping it light. And that comes from knowing myself and not lying about what I want.

So, I'd just say know yourself and know what you want — really want — before getting with others. Then, if you're on the track for wanting a future instead of a few movie dates, lay down that law from the git-go so you don't have to deal with unnecessary bullshit. Be straight-up and be honest. And be vigilant!

__________________
Latrevo ta megala stithi!

"When men worship me because of my breasts, I feel that I am an embodiment of the goddess that has become...a part of our collective human soul." — Chloe Vevrier

IrezumiKiss' "Erotique Nonstop" — original, libertine, dirty drawings for your pleasure:
FINALLY updated! 5/6/08
More 5/6/08

Irezumi Kiss' Library.com Page - a comprehensive listing of my bibliophilic erotic inspirations & other readin's whut I digs

meee toooooo >.< ditto almost to the letter! except i dont know Robert Lamm and change GF to BF :P

i have no advice seeing as i am in the same boat. i can only wish u luck.

__________________
meow

*S* Good luck Kitten..i feel for yea *S*