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March 14th - steak and blowjob day
You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.
Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.
No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!
The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world. And, of course, steak and BJ's.
history...
Steak and a Blowjob Day History!
The exact origins of Steak and Blowjob Day are not exactly known to many, but there are many scholars who claim the holiday was originally created by the Romans to celebrate the harvest of beef and was set coincide with a full moon.
Archeologists have found ancient scrolls that describe the primitive traditions of the day we now refer to as Steak and Blowjob Day. Many believe the Romans declared the holiday as a day of relaxation, it is rumored that the Roman Empire fell because of too much steak and too much blowjob during one Steak and Blowjob Day gone wrong.
The holiday was forgotten for many years and it seemed that this storied event was destined for the forgotten pages of history.
It was during the Age of Enlightenment that a young French merchant heard the tales of Steak and Blowjob Day and was set to resurrect the holiday. Many claim that the man had never received a blowjob before and he had a craving for a steak. After a hastily organized campaign the holiday became a staple of French culture. It was during this time that the holiday was celebrated on its current day of March 14th.
The holiday seemed to be everlasting during its heyday, but like many things, Steak and Blowjob Day was about the go through another dark period. It is rumored that Napoleon Bonaparte banned the holiday because he was unable to sustain an erection. Anyone caught enjoying the holiday’s activities were sent to the guillotine. Many French began to refer to the blowjob as “giving head”, due this cruel and unusual punishment, the term is still used today by some.
Due mostly to fear, Steak and Blowjob Day began to disappear again. An underground movement started in England, a movement to restart the excitement of Steak and Blowjob Day, this time it would be on the other side of the world and few would know.
Upon arriving in the New World the secret society used subtle marketing and some political connections in Washington to get the word out about the holiday. Many women were upset that Steak and Blowjob Day was not fair, that they wanted a holiday. The solution was simple, to create a holiday tailored to the American female population, thus the creation of Valentines Day.
Throughout modern history some have tried to bring attention to the historic holiday, but for the most part the holiday was kept low key. In more recent times former president Bill Clinton made headlines due to the Steak and Blowjob Day he spent with an intern.
Tom Birdsey, a radio disc jockey for 103.7 FNX in Providence, Rhode Island brought the holiday to greater attention, by promoting the event through the station and on the internet. So now that you know the history of Steak and Blowjob Day, take some time to enjoy the holiday that your ancestors have fought for.
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