What I've learned from watching porn...
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than
satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange
man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he
have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in
the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding
ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a
wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is
to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a
woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. (They do?)
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each
other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having
sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades
of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really
excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients' cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from
her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before
fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's
important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying
result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they
open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always
place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip!!!!
ROTFLMFAO@The Last One!!!!!
:fly:
What I have learned from watching porn
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