At one time back in ... maybe 2005 ... I had a thread asking Pixies to write a "Country Song." Well, here's the collection of songs I wrote ... and that I'll share again as a holiday gift ...
Ellie Mae
I sure thought a lot of Ellie Mae,
She was a special lady in the golden hay,
I wanted her to melt right in my arms,
As I poked away into her little charms.
She always had the fellers there a'waitin',
In lines that never seemed to be abatin',
But I knew that I was special in her eyes,
With me she opened them there once or twice.
JACK D
I was lookin' in the cupboard for my bottle of ol' Jack-D,
Back behind the plasty dishes, where I knew it oughter be,
But when I couldn't find it there, I called for my ol' lady,
But she just couldn't answer, she was so darn tipsy.
Honey, ya knows I love ya, that you are my cute Sweet Pea,
I's picked you over Suzie and good ol' Mary Leigh,
But if you ever touch my bottle of good ol' Jackie-D,
There'll be one less lady here, and you knows who that'll be.
A lotsa things I pardon, a good guy I can be,
But my bottle of Jack Daniels, is where the line she be,
Don't ever reach behind the plates, or take a sip you see,
That'll end it all for you then, cuz' I'll keep my ol' Jack-D.
My Best Friend Died Last Night
I lost a friend, twas’ late last night,
We was checkin’ out the chicks,
I’d been workin’ on fences all day long,
And twas’ time to find some tricks.
So, we’d went to town, and were checkin’ things,
When everything went to hell,
My friend for many years now,
Took his final bell.
It tore me up, as you might guess,
We been through thin and thick,
Now I’ll miss that ol’ Chevy truck,
From nineteen eighty six.
Dusty Trails
Riding the range, and roping the steers,
With chaps on the legs and kegs full of beer.
Crawly stuff on the blankets, fire growing low,
Morning's almost breakin', mountains are aglow.
Been ridden up from Abilene, headed for Cheyenne,
The path is long and lonely on my way to see Diane.
I was hopin' we would marry, that pretty girl and me,
Settle on the prairie, and start a family.
I'd been savin' for a year now, putting all my cash away,
Skippin' all the card games, looking forward to that day.
And then a week from Cheyenne, along the dusty trail,
A note for me arrived, from a cowpoke bringin' mail.
I opened up the letter, and read it tenderly,
Then tears began to stain the dust as the words sank into me.
"My darling, I hope you're doing well, I assume you're getting near,
But I really need to tell you, that the plans have changed my dear.
You've been gone so long, I couldn't wait, and others were so close,
So I've taken me a new man, and we've started moving north."
The clouds began to darken, and a breeze blew in a chill,
My feelings ranged from saddness, to an awful urge to kill.
I cried because I'd loved her, and wanted us to thrive,
And now she's up and left me, for some other guy.
My story is almost over now, there's nothing more to do,
I'll take my trusty forty-four, for me, my life is through.
The Bronco Ride
When they stuck me on the bronco, I felt this awful dread,
I wish I hadn’t drank that beer, it went right to my head.
Now I’m stuck a sittin, on this huge ol’ snortin’ beast,
And I’m wish I were at home right now, havin’ me a piece.
That horse is really shakin’, I can tell it’s awfully sore,
It’s ignoring all my pleading, and the fears I‘m showing forth..
The gate is almost open, my life is flashing by my eyes,
I know that two quick bucks, and I’m probably gonna die.
Someone get some tender oats, or some hay that it can have,
Or at least for my sore bottom, some soft and gentle salve?
In any case, keep prayin’, and remember what you saw,
It wasn’t fun and playing when you heard me yell, “HOO HAW!”
LOVE CIRCLE
Have you noticed how love can, in a circle come around,
That seems so really interesting, one might even say, "Profound."
Like, I love to say, "Hello," when I meet a sweetie pie,
I love to see the look, she has there in her eye.
I love the soft and tender times when our bodies do embrace,
The times we hold each other and I see the longing in her face.
I love the times we roll around, and frolic in the hay,
But there is a time I hate to see, and it's when she starts to say,
"Honey, it's been fun now, but you know how it can be,
I've found another honey, and it's off to him, you see."
It's at the bar my heart breaks, and I drink away my blues,
Until the seat right next to mine, is filled by Maggie Sue.
HOW WAS I TO KNOW?
I was sittin’ by the fire,
And tears ran down my face,
My little lady left me,
I think ... her name was Grace.
I didn’t know what to do then,
I’d trusted her so far,
I’d already slipped my pants down,
And my cock was standin’ thar.
How’d I know she be so cruel,
And leave me in such a fix,
When all I said was, “I love you,”
But ended it with ....
Trix.
they don't itch that much.
Linear Mode
