Got this in a e-mail, Thought you all might enjoy


Things You Wish You Could Say At Work


1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.

3. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?

4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

6. Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.

7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

8. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

10. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

12. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

13. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

15. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

17. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

18. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

20. No, my powers can only be used for good.

21. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.

22. You sound reasonable......time to up my medication.

23. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

24. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

25. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

26. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

27. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

A colleague of my Dad's once said to a superior: "I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I think you're full of shit".

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I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

"Shut up, you faux-German Nazi sympathizer"



Oh, is that just my crazy co-worker? I digress.

Akasha,

Who'da thunk it! You work at my office!

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Eudaimonia

I'm gonna use #'s 1, 3, 6, & 8....OFTEN!

LOL Akasha! TY!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

God I needed to see this today....

Can I humbly add to the list: "Surprisingly, your talent for whining and complaining in no way makes up for your complete idiocy and lack of ability."

i really really needed to read this as well. actually maybe i didn't... cuz i may actually say some of it to customers!

My line of work.. people are always calling me asking "When am I gonna get my child support"....... I always have to bite my tongue to stop myself from telling them that my crystal ball has been stolen.

THOSE WERE GREAT! Thanks soo much for sharing!

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~*Larky*~

One of my favs is when I get a lot of questions thrown at me I'll say " You writing a book or taking a survey?" OR I'll look at them surprised and say"Didn't I tell You?" and they'll say Noooooo and I'll turn to walk off and snap "that's cuz it ain't Ya damn business!"

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Where were these when I was still working? LMAO.

I pretty much say whatever the fuck i want to at work

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hungry? why wait.....eat me.

"Yes, sir. Sarcasm is but one of the many services we offer here."

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

The one line I would LOVE to say, just once...

"You're so fucking stupid...just get the fuck out of my sight you stupid shit."

Ahhh....I feel better already...




rabbit

One of my favs:

If I wanted any lip from you I'd pull your panties down!