so I’m making room in the linen closet for the crib sheets and those mini towels with the built-in hoods, and even though I’m ready for another child to love and guide (…I can’t wait really), it suddenly hits me: I’m scared. not because we’re going to have another child but because I’m going to “have” a baby. our daughter was born via c-section, and an emergency one at that, so I never did experience the “real thing” and I’ve got to say I feel the strangest contradiction inside; to already have a child and yet not know what to expect. I’ve never felt an intense contraction or had to time them and then wait and wait and wait…. of course I’ve heard from other moms and I’ve asked the doctor all kinds of questions but I still have nothing to compare it with. plus most of my questions are of the personal decision nature, anyway. like…should I take drugs?… I’ll admit the c-section was pretty damn painful (I had an epidural but opted for pain meds after surgery so I could see my daughter and remember. suffice it to say I associate the recovery room in the OR with some brief but very awful pain) but I made it and I think I’d like to be able to feel what’s going on. and also…how bad is the pain, anyway? how long will my labor be? and the big one… how will I feel after? will I want to hold him or sleep or cry or rant or…or WHAT? I didn’t have any choices the first time around. I was in recovery while our baby was taken away to be washed and weighted and all that jazz and I missed it. by the time I saw her I was too drugged to do anything but touch her while my husband held her in the football hold like he’d been carrying babies around since he was 10. and that is the extent of my memories of our first day in the hospital. I feel unprepared and I don’t like feeling unprepared. :dizzy:

< ----thanks you for listening

God bless you Wyndhy. Will be thinking of you and pray all goes super smooth. Just remember you've got a lot of pixie hugs holding you when the time comes!

I've never had a baby so you may want to skip my advice....however.....I was in the delivery room when my friend had her baby (coolest thing I've ever seen). And one minute she was screaming, and crying.....then the epideral was administered and she never made another negative sound. I mean she pushed the baby out like it was nothing. I thought she was so brave, and she credits it all to the epideral. I always thought that WHEN I have a child I would try to do it natural, but watching her made me think twice.
That is the only advice I can give!!! Good luck & God Bless!!!!!

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Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.
~Bob Marley
His clothes are dirty, but his hands are clean; and you're the best thing that he's ever seen.
~Bob Dylan

Wyn...I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, contractions hurt like hell!! However, there is absolutely nothing and I mean nothing that is as wonderful as pushing your child into the world. If at all possible I would suggest that you go with an epidural. I wasn't fortunate enough to have one, but I still wouldn't trade the experiences of giving birth to my children for all the money in the world!!! Yes, you will be tired after giving birth, but not too tired to hold and love on your baby. I was up walking around, slowly that is, within a few hours. Yes you are sore, but I can guarantee it will be nothing compared to the soreness you experienced with a C-section.

I had a friend who had an epidural during her pregnancy and her mother thought she had lost her mind as the friend laughed through the entire delivery!

I'm here if you ever need to talk. My e-mail addresses are on my profile.

Love ya sweetie

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

wyndhy~ I wish I had the perfect words to calm your fears but I don't. Every single solitary birth is a uniquely personal experience as I am sure every death is as well.

I read some good hippie midwife books I got at the library that helped me to re-evaluate my way of looking at the entire process. With the first child, the fear of the unknown left me in almost an observers role. I was not making choices or participating in the event. I was just dealing and having stuff done to me. Second go round I wanted to "give birth" not simply deal with labor. I tried my best. Hell yeah I was scared but I knew what was coming, and you have that advantage now as well. (((((hugs))))

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

db... thanks for braving my warning and dropping me a line of reassurance.

mackenzie... any info is good info. i'm always thinking twice and thrice and fourthice ... thank you

tt... puhleeze...i'd never dream of asking you to sugar coat anything! i count on your uh...forthright manner *cough* thank you, dear! big(((((HUGS))))) ^^^misses chatting with you^^^

lilith... i hadn't thought to look at midwifing books. that is a fantastic idea, thanks! leave it to you to have all the research done and catalogued (((hugs)))

My opinion...

They make drugs to help with all kinds of pain. We take them because we don't want to be in pain anymore. Then, "the book" says women must bear the pain of childbirth for something that happened so long ago it should be forgiven by now. Some feel that everything in life should be natural...but if they were truthful, they'd admit their life is enhanced on a daily basis by man-made amenities. The epidural is considered safe now...and the possibility of participating in such a precious event (your childs birth) and being able to remember it all...all without pain and exhaustion, seems so right to me. If it were me, and considering what you had gone through last go-round...I'd request the epidural.

Any way you choose...I wish you the very best!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

There are towels with mini-hoods?

Yeah, I'm probably not the best to give advice on something I've never experienced.

I wish you luck!

I agree with Lixy 100%. I just read the books for knowledge not because I thought I would go natural. I had a problem with my epidural so it turned out to be helpful in the long run. One of the things I read discussed the "contractions". That makes it sound like the focus is cramping or getting smaller. This book suggested they were "expansions" and that with each one you should concentrate on the period just after and visualize yourself opening not contracting. Gave me a completely different focus.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I prob should stay out of this one since I'm a guy, then I was about to share my personal experiences (I'm the modern guy who was in the room for both my kids, including the 2nd one, c-section...) then I realized the stories I had to share were NOT reassuring...so I'll just share 2 things...the epidural is not like other drugs that leave you doped up, it's more like a local applied to the area around the spine...no one would say you were a wimp for having a local to get stitches, that you should be EXPERIENCE the moment 2nd point, wife shared a room with another lady, a preacher's wife, who had just had her 3rd baby...she had gone "natual" for the 1st two, then given in & had the epi on this one...her words: "I don't know why ANYONE would want have natural childbirth again..."

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Yeah, why do people choose natural childbirth? I figure if there's a drug that doesn't harm the baby, I'm all for it!

wyndhy,

I was there for my three, and am totally inappropriate to comment here

beyond the simple idea that you need to do what you need to give birth to a healthy

child without damaging yourself in the process.

Drugs, epidural and "au natural" all have their negatives.

Read broadly and choose.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I could probably write a book on this topic! But I will try to keep it brief, so I don't bore anybody! There was 10 years between my 2 children so I was just as unprepared for the second as I was the first. I had read everything I could get my hands on and still had no idea what it would feel like, even had no idea if I was really in labor. I know what your going through hun and I feel for you. The unknown is so difficult! As Lilith said every birth is unique, so as prepared as you can be it still isn't enough. I went natural on both births, by the end of 17 hours on the first one I was begging for drugs, but it was too late! I survived and as exhausted as I was all I wanted to do was hold that beautiful baby in my arms and never let him out of my sight. Natural brain chemicals kick in and give you what you need to do what you need to . I have been told that sometimes the pain medications can hinder some of those natural responses, but since I have not experienced it I wouldn't know for sure. In my opinion you have to do whatever is best for you. The second baby came so quickly which scared me incredibly. I remember saying "its too soon, I'm not ready!!!" But low and behold there he was! I had a water birth with that one and I could be a "poster person" for that method. It was absolutely amazing! And so very different than the first time around. I had a doula, which is a service of volunteer birthing coaches available at our local hospital and she was phenomenal! Sometimes it helps having someone that you don't have to "worry" about being a coach. She massaged my back and neck while I was in the water, during each contraction. She supported my back so I could arch and almost float which really helped with the pain. Both my Aunt and my Mother were also present, but I didn't want them to talk or touch me! Go figure! I was so much less tired with the second, probably because the labor was so much shorter. Anyway hun, all I can say is the pain is bearable and the healing is quick,(in most cases). I know there are a ton of books available about going vaginally after a C-section, and I would advise you to read whatever you can get your hands on! Good luck girl! And aren't those towels just the cutest! If you have any questions or just want to talk, feel free!

~hg

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my pics

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Never say never, but if you do it's okay to change your mind~me, I think

I was a c-section birth.Back then,once a c-section,always a c-section.I don't know how things have changed since then.Is it possible to have a "normal" birth after a previous caesarian? Your willingness to procede shows your ultimate bravery dispite your fears.The best of luck and keep us all posted.

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Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller

Well, I really and most sincerly hope that all goes well for you and your baby.

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How good is sex