Why is it that most of the time men are hornier than women, and why is it that alot of the time if a woman isn't in the mood, the man is supposed to be OK with that, but when the man isn't in the mood, (God forbid) the woman gets pissed or wants to now why, a man cann't ask why, unless he wants a heated discusion.
How many men have had to resort to masterbation because his s/o was not in the mood?

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Hi, me again. You know, I've actually RESORTED to masturbation because my guy wasn't around. I don't BLAME him, it's just life.

I know if I was going to be accosted if I wasn't in the mood, it would turn me off in the future from wanting to have sex with him.

I didn't mean for the other person to be forced into sex, that is not the way it should be. I am merly asking a question and voicing my feelings, sorry if some take it the wrong way. Not meant that way.
If this thread is ofensive then the moderators can pull it, just asking so I can try to understand things. Sorry to anyone that is offended by this.

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"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." (Lewis Grizzard)

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
E. E. Cummings

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I'm certainly not asking for the mods to pull this thread, sex_24_7, I just think you're lumping a gender into one stereotype. I think some women on this site could also ask this question about the men in their life.

As I've mentioned to you in a PM, perhaps you should consider wining and dining your wife, helping out with housework, etc. It's amazing how that can help our moods instead of being told our guy is horny.

Sometimes we can't see the forest for the dishes!!!

Let's talk about it from a non gender specific position. In my house I am the one crawling the walls. The question is how can there be compromise when sex drives are not equal or on the sime timing right? What about sex drives that are in compatible in what flavor of sex?

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Hehehe....I seem to be following you guys around! Lol

I've had a much higher sex drive than most of my past S/Os and have often resorted to masturbation.

As for the differences between men and women's reactions to these things, I could write you an essay!

First off, if you usually want more sex than your woman, and she then comes onto you when you're not in the mood, she'll be confused. She'll be like 'But he's always bugging me for sex and now I'm offering it to him, why doesn't he want it?' You can understand that, I'm sure. My sex drive died down a lot when I was with my ex, and I often turned him down, but on the few occasions I made a move to him, HE always turned ME down.....it was though he was giving me a taste of my own medicine. This used to leave me feeling pissed off and if your woman has even a vague inkling that that may be happening, that may explain her annoyance (even if it's completely untrue in your case - we are paranoid creatures you know!)

I'd also say that if you are usually the one making the moves sexually (which sounds as if it's the case) then perhaps she's feeling pressured and there is NO bigger turn off than feeling like you SHOULD be having sex with your guy. I've tried having sex because I felt guilty about the fact that I hadn't done it with him in ages, and I actually had a panic attack, burst into tears and we had a hideous situation on our hands.

Also, one final thing, when she asks you why you don't feel like sex, she's perhaps just showing concern for you. Just going to run this scenario by you - it may be totally inaccurate but it's entirely possible that it's a situation you can relate to:

She's trying to get close to you, show you affection and you turn her down. She snuggles up to you, not quite believing you're saying no and asks why not. You feel a bit defensive, because why should you have to explain yourself and perhaps don't open up to her (men Do tend to bottle their emotions more than women). She's tried to make a connection with you, first on a sexual level, then on an emotional one and you have rejected her on both levels. This pisses her off.

And yes, you're free to ask her why she doesn't want sex, but the result may well be a "heated discussion". If you don't want to know the reason then don't ask.....although I don't reckon much to your relationship's chances of success if you're not prepared to hear about your S/O's problems.

Sorry to be blunt, but you did ask the question!

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Lil - I'm afraid I've taken this as gender specific, because let's face it men and women ARE different and that's why they are so attracted to each other!

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Lilith, this is why you have poolboys, french maids, caretakers and postal carriers.

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Like Lilith and Lou, my sex drive has always been much higher than any of my partners. I've found only one whose drive seems to be as high or higher than mine, but we never lived together; we just dated. Please don't assume that all women's sex drives are less than men's.

I definitely think that in addition to a possible difference in level of sex drives between partners, usually problems in the bedroom are just a symptom of problems elsewhere in the relationship. It's usually the other things that are wrong that affect how things are going bedroom-wise. If your partner is feeling overly stressed in other areas of her life, especially if she doesn't believe that she is getting enough support from you in any way (other than sex) that might help alleviate her stress, it's going to affect her desire for sex.

As an extreme example, even with my high sex drive, when it got to the point that I was working 40-60 hrs a week, raising 2 kids on my own, being responsible for all housework, cooking, yardwork, seeing that bills got paid, and seeing that birthdays and holidays were acknowledged, and my husband showed no interest in me or the kids until midnight, once I was totally exhausted, I wanted to tell him to go jump in the lake or take a number like everyone else who was demanding my time 24-7. If he'd done his fair share of all of those responsibilities and not just come home from work, put his feet up with the TV on and the newspaper in front of his face until midnight, when he suddenly got horny, I would have felt much more love toward him and would have still had my usual high sex drive.

Think about reading an oldie but goodie--How to Light Her Fire. It may really open your eyes and be a great help. You may even think about getting her a copy of How to Light His Fire. It may give you some insight, some ideas, and initiate some helpful dialogue between the two of you.

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Communication is the key.

I would like to thank all who have taken the time to post here, after all I thought that that is what these threads are for as a part, is to be able to get other insight to a question.

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"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." (Lewis Grizzard)

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
E. E. Cummings

My Pictures

Picture requests

As Promised

Setting the gender politics aside (until I'm sitting in the old folk's home and make an unbiased judgement on the issue), there just have to be times when one half of the partnership want to get off and the other doesn't. That's life.

I find the absolute best way to deal with the problem is this. Supoose you are a lady and your man is lying there with a woody that won't let him sleep, and you don't feel like joining in. Put him on his back, one arm around you and your head on his shoulder. Cup his balls in your hand. Now he can masturbate and you can feel it all happen. He gets off, you get cuddled, and everyone has a warm fuzzy feeling. Very nice.

And, of course, it works in the other direction too.

My sex drive is higher than my gf. So she doesnt usually mind if I masturbate when she isnt in the mood. Rarely is she ever horny and im not, so that hasnt really been a problem.

I have never"Resorted"to masturbation!My sex drive is much higher than my wifes,and she knows,and doesn't mind,that I have always masturbated,at least,once daily.Also,I am 59yrs old
& have never seen a time when a man was not in the mood.It
would never happen but I(personally)would much rather that my
wife masturbated,than went to someone else.We both view the
idea that masturbation is resorting as the wrong way to look at
things.It's not necessarily"back-up sex"! Irish
P.S.In this case,it's definately,Different strokes,for different folks!

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STeph

I have tried the whole wining dining routine...the bitch is just frigid... I am primary caregiver for our son, I clean the house, do laundry, dishes etc....(Yes, this is the way I was raised..if I wanted clean clothes I did my own laundry...and delicately put..my mother did not exactly do wonderful housework while holdiong a fulltime job and having five kids---which neans I am the other end of spectrum) also provide well for the family....I send flowers to her office, I send romantic notes during the day, I have arrranged for weekends away as surprises...I hit the gym 4 or 5 times a week, my hygiene is anal retentive, am willing to do anything she wants in bed.....
If we make love in any way it is less than once a week...more like once a month is not unusual....I am willing anytime and end up masturbating daily because you can only be rejected so many times

Jeff

My wife likes to watch me masturbate - and I like to watch her. When I come though she likes to take over.

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