I've been married for almost 18 years and I wanna fuck other men. <~~~~That says nothing about the relationship Mr. Lil and I have and that he and I are comfortable with eachother to the point that I can tell him that and he not take that as threatening to his manhood or our relationship. Fantasy and follow-thru are 2 different things at our house, so far

My personal opinion is that the poster needs more information. Why does he wanna fuck someone else??? Does he just wanna fuck her? Would he follow thru even if you didn't want him to? Is he wanting out of the marriage or does he just want an open one? Does he mind if you do the same? React when there is something to react to. Until then be proactive and find out what is on his mind or conscience. Then you can analyze his ideas and compare them to your own. If they don't coincide then you should do what you feel is right. Your feeling are just as important in the relationship and should be treated as such.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Having only the few opening sentences, I can only tell you how I’m reading them and one prospective.

1) This sounded like a complete surprise to you and DOESN’T sound like he was “asking” or “discussing” that he wants to bring other women into the relationship. The words you can’t express doesn’t seem to be ones of confusion or acceptance for you. Only dismay.

If that’s the status, edicts don’t come from partners, and slavery is not a relationship.

2) If “any ways to live with this” can be interpreted as a positive for you, I need to be enlightened.

3) Is a change in YOUR position going to make it a willing and desired relationship? If not, your position needs to start changing NOW.

:cents:

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While I think you should never settle for less than you want/deserve, I also think that you need to look into this before you jump off the deep end. I would tend to over-react, too.... but please try to get to the bottom of it before you flip out. I've been guilty too many times of going nuts for no good reason but that my imagination got the best of me. Check it out asap!

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~

Wait for the shock to wear off first before making a rash decision

If ya dont want it to happen then say that there is no way in hell thats happening sonny

If you are of mixed mind wether ya want to or not or you want to go ahead....then sit and discuss it with him....lay the rules on what you expect IF it went ahead

Only you can decide if you can cope with another woman...no one else can really make that decision for you IMHO

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Well thank you all for the advice.It turns out that he just told me that hoping I would break up with him to make it easier on himslef.Yes he does wantto fuck other women still, and he even wants to still fuck me ocassionally he just doesnt want a relationship cramping his style and not letting him be the big man on campus that he so obviously is.It sounds as if im mad but its more hurt than anything else.We had some issues but this did all come out of left field he had kept things bottled up for months and refused to tell me even when i asked.He took my heart and put it into the shredder and now just wants to move on and act like we never were yes i sound like every o ther pathetic girl whos ever been dumped and i guess ii am.Ill just never understand mans capacity ti hurt .I in a million years could never have done this to someone i say i love(im talking about the methos he chose to break up with me and the actions he didnt take) especially when he says he still loves me.I dunno i have an empty burning hole where my heart used to be and i dont understand how in a week your whole life ceases to exist.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) I remember feeling exactly how you feel. Broken, devastated but I also know that when I look back on it some 38452934879587236 years later I can see that it didn't just happen because of something that occured in a week or a day, it was building since the begining. I believe that every person who comes into our life is there for some reason. I know you hurt now but when you look back and see what lesson you derrived from this experience, you will be a stronger person. In fact you already are.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

*hugs* Poor thing...but Lilith is 100% right. There was a reason for it, and there will be someone better along...I never knew you were so wise, Lil!

Grrr.

So pissed.

Tell him if he wants to fuck other people to fuck himself.

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Vagina? Is that what it's called? They cut sex ed at my school, everyone just called it The Cockpit!

*rimshot*

There won't be much comfort in this, but if you make someone else your entire life and they leave, die, whatever... well... it's fairly logical that your life will cease to exist because it stopped existing long before they left!

I think few couples manage to find the balance of being together and being individuals. There's this mythical romantic notion in the way that being in love with something means they matter more than anything else in the whole world. We (collectively) seem to find the extremes readily:

"I can't live without him/her!"

"Make one false move and your ass is history."

There is a middle ground however difficult it might be to find it.

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Enjoy the journey, not just the destination!

((((((((((((I_JUNO))))))))))))))

*big warm huggles*

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I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

Well it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too.....

It may hurt for awhile and you may feel rejected but if you give into his wishes now, you are setting yourself up to be the victim and that in the long run will hurt you more than letting him go now. Always stand by your principles and you will always come out the winner. He obviously isn't ready for a committed monogamus relationship like you are and although open relationships can and do work, both parties must be agreeable wholeheartedly at the onset of such to be sucessful.