I crept carefully back up the stairs, my face flushed, feeling very confused about what I had just seen. I wasn't a very worldly young woman, and possesed only vague ideas about went on between a man and a woman other than intercourse. The scene I just witnessed in our living room disturbed me as well as... what?
I didn't understand the feelings runing through me.
I tiptoed into my bath at the head of the stairs, carefuly latching the door behind me, and sat on the toilet to collect my thoughts. After a minute, I shivered, and then felt flushed again.
I decided to run a bath, to have a plausible reason for being up so late. My parents knew I enjoyed soaking in the tub late at night when I couldn't sleep, a habit I still have today.
I started my bath, and while the hot water ran in the old claw-footed tub, I closed my eyes and again the images of what I had seen burned in my mind. He had been seated in his huge wingback chair in front of our fireplace, the glow of the dying embers shining on her naked skin as she knelt in front of him....
I stopped the water, slipped off my nightshirt, and lowered myself into the steaming water. I relaxed, and let the heat loosen my tense muscles.

As the room filled with steam, I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy myself. I ran my hands over my body, forcing waves of heated water over my body. As my hands passed over my small breasts, I gasped. When my palms brushed my nipples, they had reacted as though I were standing in front of an open freezer, suddenly tightening and becoming hard.
I shivered as this new sensation passed through my entire body, a wave of energy and heat that was different, but somehow the same as the feeling of the hot water on my skin. I cupped my breasts, and the again feeling jolted through me, but this time it seemed to flow down my body, to the juncture between my legs.

It seemed to swirl there, and then flow back up the length of my body. Wonderful!! I began to experiment, trying to see what else I could do to produce this new marvelous sensation! I quickly discovered that rubbing my thumbs over my nipples when they were stretched tight intensified the sensation, and that certain areas of my body, my neck, my lips, my thighs, behind me knees, and my bottom, when caressed, produced similar feelings, only not quite as intense.

I hesitated to breech the last barrier, to touch my self "down there". Instead I concentrated on my breasts and nipples, experimenting more and more. I discovered that pinching or pulling at them produced a new level of pleasure. Soon I found myself almost writhing in the bathwater, my hands caressing and pulling at my breasts. My breath was coming in short, quick pants, I could feel something building inside, like a balloon filled to almost bursting. But the explosion escaped me, and part of me wasn't even sure I wanted it, a little frightened of what it might mean.
I wasn't sure what would happen to me if that red ballon were to burst inside me. Then, unbidden, the image of the my parents in front of the fireplace lept into my mind. Again I could see her, kneeling naked in front of him, her hand stoking his penis, her mouth sucking at him, I imagined I heard her moans mixed with his.
My right hand, with a will of its' own, left my breast and trailed down my tummy to the wetness between my legs, and I found the center of my universe!!!
My clitoris? was standing in the damp folds there, protruding slightly... funny, I had never noticed it standing like that before, and when I touched it, I cried out with the intensity of the force that electrified my body.
Then suddenly, it seemed to disappear, and I felt as though my body were rising up in the air, as though I were floating, and then OHHHYESSSSSSSSSSSSS... I crashed downward, and my body was wracked with unbelievable waves of pleasure coursing through me, a hot spasm exploded from where my right hand was rubbing me, encompassing my very being.
After a while, how long I am unsure, there was a soft tapping at the bathroom door.
"Wanda?" My mother's voice,
"Yes, Mama'"? my voice sounded strange to me, almost hoarse. Could she tell? Was I in trouble? Had I broken some law that would mean the loss of their trust forever?
"Don't fall asleep in there again, cherie', OK?"
"I won't" my voice sounded better this time, more like my own.

This became an frequent nightly ritual for me for the next few weeks. I quickly began to learn the responses of my own body, learning other techniques, discovering that there were a lot of sexual images that I could call up that would help lead me to orgasm.
Not many months later, I learned what it meant to have a partner in my sexual experimentation. I quickly learned that boys were very appreciative of things I could, and would do for them... so long as they understood the rules...


Wicked Wanda