Last night my "ex"wife called me. I call her that because in 3 years, neither one of us has had the money for a divorce so we're still technically married. In 3 years we've MAYBE had half a dozen conversations, all of them started by me. Now she calls out of the blue just to let me know that she's back in town. I THINK she also said that she was now single. Since then I've been able to only think of the "what ifs" that have been going through my mind.

Now let me be VERY clear, I'm in love with someone else and hadn't even thought of her for a very long time. The thing of it is, I've never lived with that someone and I have a lot of very bad/annoying traits that she doesn't know about. But my ex wife knows all of those things and was willing to put up with it. I was just scared of being locked into a marriage that I didn't really want to be in so I started acting like an ass to run her off. I've admitted to that a long time ago and I know she understands.

Ok so basically me and Laura had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times. The thing was that we were both perpetually horny and desperate. Put those two things into a teenager's body and guess what, I got some on the first date! After that it was more or less a relationship of convience. I don't think we ever really liked one another. Yeah sure, we were in love but when it came to actually liking one another, that's kinda iffy.

And now there's Leah who I've met in person a couple times but never lived with or even gotten a chance to spend large amounts of time alone with each other. The thing with Leah is that I love her in a way I never thought possible. In addition to that, we actually LIKE each other immensely! We will literally sit on the phone not saying a word, just doing our own thing for like a half hour at a time, just so we can be "with" each other. We have so much it's scary! I know everyone says that but our relationship is just straight up freaky when it comes to how much alike we are. *thinks to self on how to put this* Well there's no way around it, she's a horny redhead with big tits and an even bigger ass! Our sex life (what little bit we can have living 5 hours away) is sooooooooooo much better than the best wet dream I ever had of Laura. Laura was such a prude in bed where Leah will try anything once!

I guess the truth of the matter is that I'm trying to convince myself more than anything. Part of me wants Laura back, but that's also the part of me who hasn't had any attention in 2 years!!!

For those of you who don't know, Laura just disappeared one day and came back like 2 weeks later to get her stuff. She never would tell me what it was exactly that ran her off but needless to say, things were left completely unresolved. I was obsessed about losing her for a long time. I just never thought she'd leave. But she did and it fucked me up in the head for a long LONG time.

Ask yourself this. Everyone has a "Laura" in their life (i.e. someone who got away). What would you do if they came back into your life right at the time when you're not even sure how you feel about him/her. What would you do in my place? Me personally, I've got a one way ticket to the looney bin!!!


SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG, Thanks for reading though!

__________________
words I live by;

POW/MIAs - No Will Never Be Forgotten

Karma can be a bitch, so don't make her mad!

Politeness counts.

The definition of a gentleman/lady is someone who does all the he/she can do to make the people around them as happy and comfortable as possible

Life's a bitch but it's all gotta be for something. If you keep faith in that, everything will be okay.

Every once in a great while, you just gotta kick a little ass!

My perspective is short and sweet.... move on. If I were walking in your shoes (with my attitude and personality) I would say to myself "I don't have time for this anymore".

I hope it works out for you, anyway you want to go.

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Don't flog a dead horse.

She walked away and ripped your guts out once, sshe'll do it again.

Grow with the new one, maybe it'll work, maybe not, but unless you give it a real chance, it's running in lead shoes.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

We all have our quirks and things that some people dont know about so dont worry bout that. If Leah likes you the way you say then she wont mind the quirks. She will forgive you leaving the toilet seat up in the middle of the night when she goes to sit down and ends up with a wet hiney....or that you hog the covers on the bed...but she might not be so happy if you go with Laura.

Let the past be in the past....focus on the future.

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DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.

She didn't "get away"...she ran away.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

LOL Yeah, that she did.

Thanks everyone for your advice! I was in a weird place when I wrote all that. I was just really stressed out and confused. I've been doing a lot of thinking and remembering. I remembered how we always argued about what tv show to watch or what music to listen to. I don't have to worry about that with Leah. I mean sure, she'll rope me in to "watching" the gilmore girls every once in a while but we already agreed that I'm welcome to take a nap during those times. How great is that!

Another thing is that with Laura, I always felt that I was settling because I could never get anyone better. I have NEVER thought that way about Leah. If anything, I wonder why a smokin hot babe like her would be with a slob like me.

I think I just wanted to open myself up to the possibility of me and Laura getting back together. The truth of the matter is that I don't want that. I don't want that at all. I would be settling again and that was the dumbest thing I've ever done and I WON'T do it again. I love Leah now, Laura had her chance so I guess it's her turn to think about the one who got away.

__________________
words I live by;

POW/MIAs - No Will Never Be Forgotten

Karma can be a bitch, so don't make her mad!

Politeness counts.

The definition of a gentleman/lady is someone who does all the he/she can do to make the people around them as happy and comfortable as possible

Life's a bitch but it's all gotta be for something. If you keep faith in that, everything will be okay.

Every once in a great while, you just gotta kick a little ass!

In every heart ache and break in my life, I still hold dear the good times with each. Some of the rough spots I'd like to forget. But, those too, are markers and guide posts for wisdom and future steps toward new love.
I'm an ol' softhead, with no need of bad blood and great want for sharing good life.

__________________
I like; a) taint brushing: b) a good cigar: c) our juices together; d) champagne: e) protein squirts; f)more of these; g)much more of these; h) Damn, slide that thing into me. Deep!
Adage: 2 things are certain in life; Death & Taxes. Therefore; God & Beelzebub had a meeting to fix the problem. A mighty storm prevailed for ages until finally they ended the storm with the agreement: From now on Anyone whom chooses doesn't have to die. "Everyone wins said Beelzebub. You get an eternally grateful bunch of worshippers praying forever for lower taxes as I goad & prod them forever with higher & higher taxation."

I have a rule: never get back with an ex. Ever.

As for Leah - I think the fact that the only description you give of her is that she has big tits and a nice arse, highlights that you still lack the maturity to be married and possibly in a serious relationship at all.

When you can envisage yourself nursing the woman in your life in a wheelchair after a car accident, or helping her change her colostomy bag when you're both 80, that's when you should be thinking about a serious commitment, NOT just when you find someone with big tits.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

It's not just growing up, Lou. Some people have no empathy and are *always* self centered. For those who are not empathy-impaired, the act of growing up still takes years. I've known 40 year old men who still haven't managed it.

I tend to agree, however - don't return to your ex. I'd also seriously reconsider what you're seeking in a relationship.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

lou,
Up until now, I've always thought that anyone I'd be willing to give my life for, I must love. I now know that it's not the willingness to die, but the willfullness to live just to have one more day with her that is the indication of true love. Or in other words, she makes me want to grow old with her. No, I had never thought of having to change colostomy bags or what would happen if one of us ended up in a wheelchair or something. But for leah, I would do that and more. I don't wish a wheelchair or colostomy bag on anyone but for her, I would do anything.

Please don't be so quick to judge me, my love, or my maturity.

__________________
words I live by;

POW/MIAs - No Will Never Be Forgotten

Karma can be a bitch, so don't make her mad!

Politeness counts.

The definition of a gentleman/lady is someone who does all the he/she can do to make the people around them as happy and comfortable as possible

Life's a bitch but it's all gotta be for something. If you keep faith in that, everything will be okay.

Every once in a great while, you just gotta kick a little ass!

I wasn't judging you and I'm not suggesting there's anything wrong with being immature (we all start off that way, and we're all less mature than we'll be in a year's time, ten years' time, twenty years' time) but maturity IS something you need for marriage.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

I can agree with that.

__________________
words I live by;

POW/MIAs - No Will Never Be Forgotten

Karma can be a bitch, so don't make her mad!

Politeness counts.

The definition of a gentleman/lady is someone who does all the he/she can do to make the people around them as happy and comfortable as possible

Life's a bitch but it's all gotta be for something. If you keep faith in that, everything will be okay.

Every once in a great while, you just gotta kick a little ass!

I don't know if it's mature or not, but if I'm changing Mrs. WI's colostomy bag at 80...




I'm still thinking "nice tits".

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

He he he WI - THAT'S the kind of relationship I'm talking about!

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

Likewise.





































No, not Mrs. WI's; I mean Ms. DM's Lady.




































OK...... maybe Mrs. WI too............ depends where I am, then, I suppose!

DM

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The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind